LIFESTYLE
In a relationship, but, online status remains ‘single’. Too personal to disclose or is there more to it.. we check!
So you are in a relationship. But when is the right time to declare your relationship status on social media? This is a real dilemma for many these days. Read on to know its pros and cons.
These days, social media plays an important role in people’s lives. And, a lot of aspects of our lives are an open book. Log into a social networking site where you have people you know, and there is a strong possibility that you will find what he or she is doing, the places the person visited or what he or she likes, among other details. The same rules apply for relationship statuses as well, online. The moment you are dating someone, you change your relationship status online. And, your relationship status matters a lot to people around you. Change your status and see how many comments you get.
YES OR NO
So, how important is it these days to maintain a relationship status online? Gittanjali Saxena, psychiatrist, says that online relationship statuses are important to both men and women, but this aspect matters more to women. She says, “Online relationship statuses are more important to women than men for sure. Many of us have friends who are not friends of our partners online. So, it becomes important for a woman that the man she is dating declares that he is in a committed relationship with her. Also, women are prone to be more insecure as compared to men. So, they like to take all these little security measures to safeguard their relationship. Also, not having a relationship status can make you prone to stalkers. Hence, an online status does matter.”
At the same time if you are dating someone, and saying that you aren’t, can also be helpful as far as keeping it secret from your ex. Saxena says, “Sometimes, it becomes important not to accept that you are in a relationship if there is a jealous ex-spouse or ex-lover in your friend list.” And, this ex-partner can ruin your present relationship by planting lies. Saxena talks about a similar case. She says, “I know the case of a person, who has no information online about his new relationship. He was married earlier and doesn’t want his ex-wife to do anything nasty that would harm his new relationship. So, in these cases caution is advised rather than going public with the new declarations of love.”
But, at times, acknowledging that you are dating someone online may affect your relationship as well. Consultant psychiatrist,
Dr Ambrish Dharmadhikari says that in such cases relationships get affected when both partners are not on the same page. He says, “Online acknowledgment of a relationship is seen as declaring to the world about your relationship. This also gives access to people to comment on your love life or your partner, which can make some people uncomfortable. Also, many couples compare their relationships with others and develop a false sense of inferiority or superiority, which ends up
taking a toll on the relationship.”
OFFLINE SPHERE
Strangely, accepting that you are dating someone is not confined to only the online sphere. Many people hide the fact that they are dating someone even in the real world. Mary George Varghese, consulting clinical psychologist says that some people do this if they aren’t sure about commitment. She says, “When you are in a relationship, everything looks rosy to the outside world. It’s only when you breakup that people start talking bad things about both the partners without knowing facts. So, some people like to maintain secrecy around their relationship till the time they know that their partner is 100% committed to him or her.” But, there may be other reasons behind such a decision. Dharmadhikari says, “Secretive people are usually the ones who are conscious about their image or don’t want the world to know about their personal life. These people tend to be observers rather than engagers. They might have anxiety or be sensitive to criticism about their relationship from known and unknown people.” Varghese says, “Some people maintain this secrecy around their relationship because they may be in it just for the fun or if they want to keep their options open as far as dating newer people is concerned.”
It becomes very important for a woman that the man she is dating declares that he is in a committed relationship with her. GITTANJALI SAXENA, PSYCHIATRIST