HT Cafe

THE SECRET FILES

Think you know everything about your partner? You may be wrong. Here are a few things he/she may never reveal to you

- Collin Rodrigues ht.cafe@htlive.com

Before you start dating someone, there is always the wooing phase. But prior to that, you try to know her/him better, through their acquaintan­ces. And, once you start dating the person that you wooed or liked, they’ll reveal a lot more to you than you ever expected, probably even contrary versions of what you always knew about them. But in most cases, people will never share everything with their partners — about their past or present — no matter how many years you’ve been together. Here are a few things that experts think will always remain hidden from a partner.

FATAL ATTRACTION­S

Many a time, no matter how much you love your partner, people will still get attracted to their best friends/family members. Viveck Shettyy, life coach, says, “You will never have the slightest inkling of this secret kept by your partner, as the truth may end up creating an awkward situation for everybody including themselves. And hence, they may decide it is best to keep this a secret.”

SEXUAL HISTORY

Sex is still a taboo for many in our country. People will always hide the number of intimate relationsh­ips/encounters they’ve had. Dr Arati Suryawansh­i, psychologi­st, Bhatia Hospital, says, “Some people love the idea of their partner being a virgin as it brings value to the relationsh­ip. This is probably the best kept secret from partners.”

THE EX EFFECT

Dating someone who’s been in many relationsh­ips is frowned upon in India, though this thought process may have somewhat changed among many these days. Shettyy says, “It may be extremely difficult for an individual to reveal to their partner about the number of relationsh­ips they have had before they met. She/he would be extremely worried that this aspect may affect their spouse’s perception and eventually create a lot of discomfort in their relationsh­ip.”

SHORTCOMIN­GS

Though you may like most things about your partner, there’ll always be something that you don’t. Tanushree Bhargava, clinical psychologi­st, says, “Shortcomin­gs of your partner, especially, aspects which can’t be changed, are never revealed. This can be things that one dislikes about the partner’s looks, weight and complexion.”

TEMPERAMEN­T

Many people have temper issues from childhood, which are mostly hidden in a relationsh­ip. Suryawansh­i says, “Getting angry is not a very good sign. It can make or break a relationsh­ip or have an impact on the bond that two people share.”

Some people love the idea of their partner being a virgin as it brings value to the relationsh­ip. This is probably the best kept secret from partners

ARATI SURYAWANSH­I, PSYCHOLOGI­ST, BHATIA HOSPITAL

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