‘Unless you are looking for a way out, don’t get bullied out of the partnership’
I was in a verbally abusive relationship for five years and just broke up months ago. One of my ex’s friends helped me through this whole ordeal. I have had a crush on this same friend for about two years and turns out he likes me too. I do not want to get into a relationship just yet but do you think it’s a good idea to date my ex’s friend? Please help. — KS
KS, let’s learn from the world’s top horticulturalist, who gave his life to landscape gardening. (No he literally was buried alive in his own seaweed nursery by mistake). His name was Tom-Tom. Tom-Tom in his book, ‘How does my Garden Grow’, explained how it was difficult to find Dandelion in his country, and so he had to concentrate on Chrysanthemums, which are very intelligent life forms despite their horrible spelling. Similarly, we land up with relationships based on proximity and access. Your market consists of whoever is around you. For instance, Jude Law is not available around you. So, chances are you will never ever date Jude Law. Dating your ex’s friend is a normal course of events. It’s been done before, it will be done again. As long as you are over your ex, I see it as a natural course of action.
I am a 24-year-old woman and I have been in a relationship with a senior in office for the last six months but somehow, now I feel I should not be dating someone I am working with. What do you think should I do? — TD
Aha, you have opened one of the Universe’s three oldest questions. They are (a) can you tuck round collar T-shirts into your pants, (b) can you use skin cream instead of shaving cream, to shave, and (c) Ethics or Romance. TD, didi, (just rhyming), suddenly, your
personal ethics committee has woken up and called for a meeting. Strangely, for six months the committee was absent. This begs the question, has someone in the office said something to you. Are you being pressurised or threatened? If there is no pressure, than why feel so guilty? Just separate your work from him as much as you can. Unless you are looking for a way out, don’t get bullied out of the partnership.
I am a 27-year-old guy and I have been in a relationship for the last two years. However, now I am moving out of the city and we both are in doubt if we can pull off a long-distance relationship. What should I do? — KL
KL, this is just a question of philosophy. You are giving up the battle before entering the battlefield. Life throws us many challenges. Birth, marriage, parking, hair transplant, and conjunctivitis. As human beings, or even as plants, we have to deal with challenges. We can’t give up, before the challenge appears. Around your right hip you will find a monitor. Switch on the positive button. For the millionth time, thanks to technology, long distance relationships, have their best chance ever, in this day and age.