DEPRIVED TO THE POINT OF DEPRESSION?
Sex is an important part of any relationship, and if you are deprived of it, it can affect you in many ways
When we start dating someone, the relationship is all about emotions for each other. As time passes, it moves to the next level, which is physical. Eventually, sex becomes an important part of all relationships — whether you are married or dating someone. Often, this vital element of a relationship is lost due to professional, personal or other reasons. For example, there may be roadblocks in a relationship, you may not be in talking terms with your partner, don’t see eye-to-eye, are in a loveless marriage or in it just for the sake of the children. There could also be unavoidable circumstances such as when your partner is transferred out-of-town for work or when she is pregnant, which is purely understandable. But in the due course of time, sex deprivation can hurt a person in ways that his/her partner may never even notice. Riddhish K Maru, psychiatrist and sexologist says, “Depriving a person of sex can affect him/her badly. And, in most cases, the affected person may not even want to talk it out with the partner due to ego issues. Also, sex is still a taboo among many, which may be another hindrance.”
Here, with the help of experts, we reveal the signs that people who are deprived of sex typically display.
NEGATIVE REACTIONS
People who are deprived of sex are prone to emotional outbursts and are more irritable. Neeta V Shetty, psychotherapist, says, “Their frustration triggers mood swings. They are more sensitive to every situation which goes against them. In fact, every conversation this person has with the partner can lead to disagreements.”
SUBSTITUTING YOUR FRUSTRATION
Sex deprivation can affect other areas of life, too. Shetty points out, “Substituting your frustration into other areas of life such as getting into alcoholism, leading a reckless life, socialising more with friends than your partner is common. This is how this person may want to get back to his/her partner.”
GAP IN EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
Emotionally, people in such situations end up drifting away from their partners. Shetty adds, “As physical intimacy strengthens the bond between couples, sex deprivation may lead couples to drift away from each other emotionally. This person may also develop bitterness and resentment against his/her partner.”
AFFECTING SELF-ESTEEM
Loss of self-esteem may be a major casualty in people who are deprived of sex. Niharika Mehta, psychologist, Hiranandani Hospital, Vashi, says, “Sex makes one feel confident and accepted. Depriving one of sexual pleasure makes one feel undesirable and self critical. So, a person in such a relationship may refuse to engage in positive activities or not accept compliments because he/she feels they don’t deserve it or are not worthy of it.”
EXCESSIVE DRINKING/ EATING
Sex is also considered as an expression of love, and loss of love has it affects. Mehta says, “Due to lack of sex in a relationship, people may stop taking care of themselves. Unable to express love and failure to receive love increases feelings of guilt and sadness. Thus, your partner may turn towards comfort food, often leading to binge eating and alcoholism.”
COMMITMENT PHOBIA
A sex-deprived partner will gradually shy away from making any commitments in the relationship. Viveck Shettyy, life coach says, “This is primarily because he/she no longer has a sense of belonging to the relationship. And, when the sense of belonging is lost, the desire to make commitments gradually fades away.”
LOOKING FOR ALTERNATIVES
Finally, sex deprivation may force this person to watch porn. Shettyy says, “Fantasising and watching porn more frequently would also more often than not be a direct consequence. Such an ndividual would largely ecome restless in nature and et easily distracted by ternatives to real sex.”