‘Honesty is rarely the best policy, it’s fairly redundant’
I’m a 27-year-old guy and I’ve been in a relationship for the last three years. However, the issue is that she doesn’t trust me. I have discussed this with her, but nothing seems to be working out. What do I do? - TN
TN, arey bhai you sound like the students of India, and your wife sounds like the CAB. Trust is the fourth most important ingredient in a relationship after attraction, respect, and parking. Without these four pillars, it’s impossible to build a relationship. The question, (if we have the time, and at least I do have the time), is why does she not trust you? What did you do? Are you in touch with other girls? Do you constantly compare her to Priyanka Chopra Jonas? Do you know Priyanka, and, more importantly, does Priyanka know you? Honestly, look inward, pass your ribs and intestine, and see why she’s lost faith. The best chance to build trust again is to go to the root cause, even if it’s an imaginary one.
I’m a 34-year-old woman and I’ve been married for the last six years. I’m very happy with my husband but I’ve developed a liking for a young guy in my office. Is it safe to discuss this with my husband? -KK
KK, ooh this is the toughest question I have received since ‘can you tell me how to find four bungalows’ or ‘can you explain GST in two sentences’. Firstly, what do you mean by ‘liking’? If he’s just a casual friend, you would not write in and ask this question. By writing in, you’ve exposed your hand. This is a ‘love’ column, or it used to be a love column. Now, we concentrate on advice about used cars and the importance of SIPs in your portfolio. KK, it seems to me that you like the guy, and to lessen your guilt you wanna act all casual. About discussing this with your husband, I say no, honesty is rarely the best policy. In fact, some say honesty, as a policy, had its time, and is fairly redundant now. Be careful that you don’t fall for your colleague, hook, line and sinker. (Please, I have no idea what sinker means).
I’m 25 years old and I’ve been single for a year now. I’ve been enjoying this phase but at times, I do feel lonely and even worse is when I text my ex at these times. How do I refrain myself from doing this? - ST
ST, you are 25 and trying to cope with loneliness. Let me give you some good and bad news. The good news is you are only 25. The bad news is if you’re feeling lonely now, imagine how much worse you’ll feel at 75! First you say you enjoy your single status, then you say you feel lonely and text your ex. So, which is it? The answer is the same one sage Parahamsa gave a waiter in a restaurant in Mangalore. ‘One masala dosa extra crisp’! What he meant to say is life is like a masala dosa. If you want it extra crisp, you must put in the effort. Looks like you are regretting your break up. You’re obviously missing your ex. Please decide if you need to try and win her back, as you seem unable to really go forward, either.
I am a 28-year-old woman and I’ve been in a relationship for almost four years now. However, our priorities in life have never been the same. I know this differs from person to person, but do you think that with such indifferences, it would be a good decision to get married to each other? - RK
RK, first let me wish you a Merry X’mas or should it be Happy X’mas. I’m never really sure. Now that’s out of the way. Let me use the words of the great mystic philosopher, Shree Arnab Goswami, ‘How dare you!’ RK, how dare you put the responsibility of marriage, on me? It’s your impending marriage. Only the two of you should vote on this, and maybe your caterer. You may or may not know, but I’m also an award-winning physicist. Let me assure you that in science, opposites do attract. And to confuse you further, opposites repel at times. Having differing opinions and philosophies doesn’t guarantee a good or bad relationship. Answer these questions — (a) In 20 years, do you want to wake up with this guy or would you like to wake up earlier or later; (b) What are his levels of personal hygiene? And to all in and out of love, Merry X’mas and Happy New Year!