FOR A ‘HAPPY’ NEW YEAR
The holiday season is here and family reunions are common, especially around New Year. But this may pose a challenge to individuals who don’t share the best of bonds with relatives. Differences exist in every family. Over time, some sort them out, but in many cases, conflicts lead to a growing distance among family members. And the distance becomes more glaring, especially during the time of celebration and festivities.
Recently, the UK-based charity Stand Alone, as well as Dr Lucy Blake and professor Susan Golombok, director of the Centre for Family Research at the University of Cambridge, UK, conducted a survey. As part of it, more than 800 people affected by estrangement were polled. And 90% said that they found the festive season challenging. The term ‘estrangement’ need not always have something to do with couples. Sometimes, there are irreparable differences between siblings, or parents and children. So, then, how does one deal with such situations? We speak to experts to find out. Relationship expert Praney Anand says that festivals are a difficult time for estranged people. “With the increased use of media and social networking platforms, we are surrounded by images of happy families. But, for an estranged person, the same image can be emotionally exhausting,” he says, adding that emotions cannot be generalised. “If a relationship has gone utterly sour, all sides could be glad that they don’t have to face each other. In case the separation is recent, an individual may want to be left alone during the holiday season,” says Anand. So does estrangement dampen a family’s festive spirit? Experts say that it really depends on the family dynamics — some make peace with the fact that a family member has been left out, others don’t. In order to make sure that individuals do not miss their family members after a separation, experts advise talking to a family therapist who could help resolve relationship dynamics. And, if conflicts are beyond reconciliation, a therapist might also be able to provide tools to handle anxiety related to estrangement.
Deal with it
But if things are really