A CALMER YOU

Yesterday, I saw a rather touching video on YouTube. Some of you may have seen it, too. It was about this teenaged guy who, in front of a hidden camera, tells his mom for the first time that he is gay. The mom turns out to be extremely understanding, hugs him, stops him from crying — does everything what a perfect caring parent would. I was loving it. Then, at some point she tells him, I love you, no matter what. It’s the last three words, in the context of someone revealing their sexual orientation, that always bother me. No matter what. The moment you say these words, you are kinda putting a stamp on something not being right with their situation. I really wished she would have stopped at simply I love You, and not have to say that she does it ‘despite’ him being gay. This incident also reminded me of how I had written about the stress of coming out of the closet in this column some time ago. Well, the pride month just went by. What better opportunity to recall that piece. Here.

It’s most humbling to receive hundreds of feedback mails for this column each week, and the nicest thing that’s common to most of them is when you say you liked it because you can ‘totally relate to it’. Well, some of you may not relate to what I’m going to write this week. But, that’s not stopping me from still taking up this topic because, who knows, a lot of you may just.

Last week, I got two mails from two very different individuals, but with a thread of irony connecting them. One mail was from a young college student, Kabir, from Delhi. ‘I’m gay. I’ve totally accepted this reality of my life, though my family and friends don’t know yet, though I’m sure they suspect. Now, I want to tell my best friend. But, I don’t know how he’ll react. What if he starts avoiding me? I don’t want to lose his friendship.”

The other mail, interestingly in a gap of just