Would you like to be married to an extortionist?

I liked my classmate a lot. We talked and laughed together a lot. But, in the following academic year, she didn’t talk much and would just stare at me in class. What does it mean? PR

You should graduate to the next class, PR. Talking and laughing, doesn’t mean she’s in love with you. Talking and laughing, (according to the physicist Steven C Cutter) means talking and laughing. I knew a girl at office when I was much younger — keep in mind, India used to have offices then — who, while laughing at a joke she thought I made, poked me in the ribs. This ‘poke’ was no proof of love. In fact, the poke was exactly that — a poke. My God, how my rib still hurts, from her poke. Luckily for you, she’s still staring at you, which means she’s not completely off the market. Why don’t you act on her stare, and initiate some talking, followed by some laughing, but no joking? Get back to the old ‘stage’ first. Build up confidence, and take it from there.

I am 20 and my boyfriend loves me. At times, he gets possessive and says if I don’t marry him, he will do something wrong to me. He then starts crying. His behaviour worries me a lot. What should I do? SR

SR, love makes people do stupid things, Shah Jahan built the Taj Mahal facing the wrong way, as a tribute to how much he loved himself. The German Chef Hermann Swartz invented fried ham to impress his girlfriend, who, being a strict vegetarian, left him immediately. Your boyfriend’s behaviour is similar to an angry four-yearold Monitor Lizard during mating season. He can’t threaten you and then switch to crying. It means his hormones and his priorities are all over the place. In my professional opinion, he’s reaching male menopause — for the second time. Treat him like the infant he is. Feel free to involve his parents if his tantrums continue.

I am in love with a girl who is my classmate. The problem is, she belongs to a very rich family and I belong to a middle-class family. She knows that I love her but she's not taking the initiative to marry me, because her family wants her to marry someone who matches their financial status. I feel guilty and bad for not being rich enough. I don't want to lose her because of monetary reasons. What should I do?

Confused soul

Mr Confused, if the girl wants to leave you because you are not of the ‘right’ financial status, can you please leave her immediately, forever? Lovers can be demanding. Normal demands can be met, such as (a) please clean the cycle seat after using it, (b) not to keep pictures of Kim Jong Un in the bedroom, and (c) to give up eating upma and poha in public. However, this financial demand is like extortion. Would you like to be married to an extortionist? I would prefer a contortionist. If you don’t match their financial standards, tell her what Hamlet said to his uncle, “To hell with you sister!”