You may give up your right to breathe, but never give up your right to flirt
I think my boyfriend of two years is cheating on me. Recently, he posted a photo online with a girl. He said he was helping her because a guy is forcing her to get into a relationship with him. He doesn’t talk to me in a good way, except when he wants to go on an outing. He is busy or tired every time I want to talk. Please help.
AK
For 16 and half years, Christopher Columbus, or ‘Gocchoo’ as he was affectionately called, begged his wife Ellena to go to India with him. But Ellena kept making excuses, such as being busy or tired. So finally ‘Gocchoo’ went on his own. Of course, he got lost and discovered America instead. But this put a strain on the marriage and by the time ‘Gocchoo’ returned to Portugal, Ellena had married three more times. AK, your ‘Gochoo’ is like Ellena, only much younger. These are clearly excuses. He’s displaying typical avoidance behaviour. It looks like he’s dropped you down lower in his priority list. Can’t say if he’s cheating on you for sure, but he’s definitely drifting. Try confronting him about all this, but be prepared, because you can’t force love. I used to flirt a lot with girls. But, since the last one year, I have can’t flirt or even talk normally. I am surprised about my situation.
BDD
BDD, we can’t blame everything on Alzheimer’s. You can’t forget to flirt. I mean it’s like forgetting to clean your teeth. Okay, you can forget to clean your teeth but you never forget the process used to clean your teeth. Of course, that process itself changes when you are 70, and your teeth live in a glass bowl, separately. However, if you need a refresher course on flirting, then I recommend you a cinematic masterpiece called The Shaukeens. Observe, study, and memorise the behaviour of the three protagonists played by actors. You will get a two-hour lesson in flirting, that will stay with you for life. BDD, give up your right to breathe, to pay tax, to vote, anything else, but never give up your right to flirt.
My boyfriend and I have a common friend, who gets upset whenever we are together. I can’t see her upset nor can I confront her directly and ask her if she has feelings for my boyfriend. What can I do? EU
EU, first stop acting like Mother Teresa. And don’t make this anymore controversial than it is. Your friend isn’t Padmavati, so why all this great self-sacrifice? She obviously has feelings for the guy. And she isn’t even trying to hide it. You have to only figure out whose happiness you are more keen on — hers or yours own? And, by the way, have you bothered to check what your boyfriend feels about all this? Please stop being Ms Goody Two Shoes, and continue with your relationship. Let her sort out her own demons.
I am a 30yearold and like a married woman in my office. I have not been able to verbally convey my feelings to her. However, I know through fellow colleagues that she is aware of my feelings. I want to pursue this as a casual relationship. She has now moved to another city and the distance makes me jittery. Recently, we met on a leisure trip; her husband wasn’t around. How should I take this to the next level?
iSMILE
iSMILE, let me understand, you want to date a married woman, from your office, who now has moved to another city? So, basically you are challenging yourself on 30 different levels. I’m sorry, there are too many negatives here, for me to grant my approval. I would ask you to get your head examined, but these days psychiatrists are very costly. 5,000 rupees a session is enough for anyone to see reason, and immediately mend their ways. You’ve also not mentioned, how she feels about all this. For all you know, you’ll be wandering off to the next level, on your own. But if you still can’t stop yourself, there is a five letter word that holds all longdistance relationships together — SKYPE. Try it, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.