WISE TO RECONCILE WITH YOUR EX?
Akshay Kaushal
American TV show A Night With My Ex was one of the most talked about reality shows because of its offbeat theme. The makers of the show reunited ex-lovers and made them spend a night together in a lush apartment to sort out their differences. Some of the couples on the show reconciled and decided to give their love a second chance. While we don’t know how happy or sad they are now, as the show recently went off air, we decided to ask experts if it is a good idea to get back with someone you had broken up? Here’s what the experts say you should keep in mind:
ARE YOU LONELY OR DESPERATE?
It might be a possibility that you want your ex back in your life because you are lonely. You are reminiscing the sweet moments with that person. But what about the differences you’ve had in the past? “Most of the times, we fall for them because we are somewhere incomplete in our life, and we think that our ex can fill that space. It’s just dependency, and you can try and come out of it,” says relationship expert, Jai Madaan.
WEIGH IN PROS AND CONS
If there are more pros, then you can think of reconciling. Also, if both of you realise that you still have that soft corner for each other, and can do away with the differences, then there is no harm in giving it a second chance. “It is always wise to see the positives and counter it with the negatives, this always helps,” says psychologist Pulkit Sharma.
VALIDATE WITH REASONS
You and your partner need to introspect whether or not this is a wise decision and validate it with a solid reason. “It is important that you know why you need this. And only you can give an answer to this. So, make sure that you know your reasons well. At times, it’s insecurities that drive people in this direction. They end up thinking that they won’t find anyone better. But if there is a genuine realisation that your ex is invaluable to you, you should give the relationship a second chance,” says Sharma.
HOW ARE YOU PLANNING TO TAKE THINGS FORWARD?
It’s pertinent to figure out how you are going to shape up your relationship. Be clear about the next step. Figure out, if you have a serious relationship in your mind, which can culminate in life-long commitment or you are just seeking momentary comfort because you have been through a low phase. Be honest with yourself and to the other person. “Listen to your heart but also watch your steps,” says Madaan.
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IF BOTH OF YOU CAN DO AWAY WITH THE DIFFERENCES, THEN THERE IS NO HARM IN GIVING IT A SECOND CHANCE