A REAL CONNECT
If you spent quality time with your loved ones during the recent holidays, then you just invested a lot in your health and wellbeing. Know why experts want you to work at maintaining relationships
Susan Jose
This is that time of the year when most of us resume our routines after a brief year-end layover, during which we spend time with our loved ones. Actor Kate Hudson’s latest book, Pretty Fun: Creating and Celebrating a Lifetime of Tradition, emphasises on the importance of reserving time for people around you, be it family, friends, or colleagues, and create stronger bonds with them. We speak to a few experts on how good interpersonal skills translate into better quality of life, and how those with reserved personalities can work at building good relationships.
“Having people around who are supportive and caring, gives strength to overcome difficult situations, be it emotional or physical. It is one of the most effective ways of coping with negative life events no matter how tough the situation is. Money can buy everything, but human relations — not necessarily blood relations — which are true and genuine are the ones that sustain forever,” says Namrata Dagia, clinical psychologist.
Human interaction is also necessary to offset the effects of being caught up with virtual life, which, even otherwise, seems to have taken quite a toll on people’s overall wellbeing. Psychiatrist Jyoti Sangle says, “It is important to have a genuine human connect for the simple reason that only this connect can have an emotional component vis-à-vis a technological connect, and hence, stimulate certain parts of the brain which would be otherwise rendered rudimentary.”
But what if you have a personality that simply interferes with your social skills, and forming or maintaining bonds with people ends up becoming a challenge for you? In that case, being mindful of a few key points in mind and taking one step at a time, may help, according to psychiatrist Hozefa A Bhinderwala.
He suggests the following to improve interpersonal relations in various spheres of life:
FAMILY
Active listening skills demonstrated by the elders in the family serve as a role model for the youngsters to emulate. The need to understand before attempting to explain can make a big difference in how members of a family are willing to share issues.
Empathy is another important sphere. An ability to understand and accept the emotions and position of the other person without being judgemental is an asset no family should be without.
The obstacles to good cooperation that parents need to be aware of are accusing, name-calling, blaming, sarcasm, threats, commands, warnings, excessive moralising and physical abuse. These should have no place in a family. Elders should work at eliminating any trace of a toxic environment at home.
While it should not be the first word in a response by a parent to a child’s request, the child should be taught alternatives to ‘no’. Healthy ways to inculcate ‘no’ in a child’s vocabulary should be encouraged. How to creatively say ‘no’ helps the child in the long run. This is different from empowering children to identify inappropriate touching and resolutely refusing forced affection.
WORKPLACE
The ability to handle one’s own emotions, and those of the people around is what propels a person towards popularity and promotion at work.
Respect for fellow human beings and their integrity are paramount in any workplace. Hierarchical position and power are temporary. The more a person feels valued at work, the better their output.
Workers are humans, and humans will make errors. It is the ability to correct errors at work — without demeaning the human behind the error — that makes or mars an organisation. Any firm is only as good as the employees working for it.
NEIGHBOURHOOD
As social animals, it is important to be aware of, as well as sensitive to our neighbours. Those who are considerate of and show care for their neighbours are making valuable long term investments. Small gestures including a smile or greeting, and big ones, such as being ready to help those around, have a magical way of building credibility and respect among neighbours. A happy neighbourhood, after all, is a healthy neighbourhood. With inputs from Dr Dhananjay Ashturkar, Psychiatrist, Dr PD Lakdawala, Psychiatrist, Dr Alpes Panchal, psychiatrist, Dr Kedar Tilwe, Psychiatrist, Shraddha Soni, Psychologist and Anant Chulani, psychologist.