How to deal with bullies
Dealing with a bully at workplace can be agonising. One’s workplace tends to become a place of baseless gossip, rumour mongering and pain when colleagues subtly use you as a punching bag. Firstly, there is work at hand that needs to be completed on time. And, then, constant rumours or irritation with a colleague can add to the burden. Experts say that these aspects can affect your productivity because you get distracted and are unable to concentrate. So, should you report such matters to the concerned authorities in your office, confront the person in question or simply ignore?
IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS
According to consultant psychiatrist Dr Alpes Panchal, ignorance is ‘definitely not the answer’. He says, “The more you let it go, either the bully will back off or the bully will get empowered and keep pushing the limit. The idea is to let the bully know that this conduct is not allowed at the workplace.
In a school bully situation, it is better to ignore. But at work, there is much more at stake. Hence, you have to be able to compartmentalise work life and personal life so that you don’t care for your bully back home. If it starts affecting your personal life, you could be heading towards a bigger problem which might need professional help.”
HELP YOURSELF
It’s important that the person, who is at the receiving end, stands up for himself or herself. Psychologist Kaehalee Shinde points out,” Bullies are people who generally need help. You have to stand up for yourself or someone you know that is getting bullied. Complaints to human resources or higher authorities should not be a taboo.
You have to do something about your problem; no one else will do it for you. Dr Panchal adds, “Usually, bullies are people, who try to establish power over people because subconsciously they feel powerless.
The best way to beat bullies at the workplace is by helping them in a certain way; by being their friend or by appealing to their issues.”
SET YOUR TERRITORY
Experts share that one has to ‘mark your territory and set limits in a non-confrontational sense’ while dealing with a bully.
Dr Panchal says, “When someone forcibly keeps piling work on you, you have to let them know that it is not your job to do it. Do not get angry or use threats at this juncture. Also, at times, if the bully is deliberately doing anything wrong, there is nothing you can do about it. It’s better you wait till the bully accepts his or her mistake.”
Shinde adds that often bullies or a mean colleague generally feel threatened or are insecure people. She says, “In such cases, you have to try and find out why he or she is behaving in a particular manner. Demarcate work and assign responsibilities accordingly, this will help him or her feel less insecure.”