I regret writing my memoir: Nawazuddin

The actor says publishing his memoir was a mistake; adds that he shouldn’t have named people in the book

Nawazuddin Siddiqui has led an eventful life. The actor initially thought to write a memoir to document his struggles and his journey to becoming an actor, but when he released his book in 2017, a few pages describing his personal life sparked controversy, and Nawazuddin subsequently withdrew his book. He says, “I think writing the book was a big mistake. I regret that. It’s sad that in a book with 209 pages, only five pages were highlighted. Everything else was ignored. It was also my fault for naming two or three people from my life back then. But I also apologised for it later.”

Explaining what went wrong, the Raman Raghav 2.0 (2016) actor says, “In a memoir, you have to tell the truth. If you start compromising with fact, then it becomes lopsided and it’s also easy to glorify yourself. But I wrote the truth. I wrote about my struggles, my life, the mistakes I made when I was stupid, and how I became a better person after I learnt from my mistakes. But it backfired. If and when I write something after 10-12 years, I will write only lies. The world doesn’t deserve the truth.”

Nawazuddin is starring in two upcoming biopics: one on author and playwright, Saadat Hasan Manto, and another on late politician, Bal Thackeray. Is the actor open to the idea of a biopic on his life? “I still have a lot to do and achieve, so it’s too soon for someone to make a film on my life. I wrote a memoir, because I wanted to talk about my life in my village and my journey to becoming an actor. It’s too soon for a film to be made on my life”, he says.

Nawaz says that when he looks back on his career, he feels like the time when he struggled to make ends meet was much easier. “When I was struggling, I thought life was the toughest. When I became slightly more established, I thanked God for giving me all that I had. But now that I’m successful, I didn’t know that this life would be the most difficult. I feel like I was better off when I was struggling. I could be honest back then, but now it’s difficult to even speak my mind. There is too much pressure to be politically correct,” says the actor.

I wrote about my struggles, my life, the mistakes I made when I was stupid, and how I became a better person after I learnt from my mistakes. But it backfired. If and when I write something after 1012 years, I will write only lies. NAWAZUDDIN SIDDIQUI,

ACTOR