Don’t let WhatsApp friendships ruin your relationships

My boyfriend of two years has suddenly started talking to one of his colleagues for long hours. Even when we are on a date, he chats with her on WhatsApp. He has shown me his chats and there’s no doubt that he is loyal to me. But I still feel he is hiding something. Am I just paranoid or is there more to his version of the story? Catty

Catty, the world’s second greatest salesman, Pranlal , (he was second to salesman Ramlal in seven consecutive salesman Olympics), came out with the Reverse Theory of the Theory of Marginal Ability. He explained that there was a mathematical point, an average if you will, where a subject goes from unhealthy in relation to another subject. Don’t be too confused — salesman Pranlal was never really able to explain it either. But Catty, its okay if he’s on WhatsApp with her from time to time. However, if it’s too consistent and too often, then the relationship is crossing a line. You need to tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to reduce the time spent on WhatsApp.

Recently, my friend started dating a new guy. I have met him many times, but in the presence of my friend. Now, the problem is that I am getting attracted to him in spite of already being in a relationship. How can I stop myself from feeling attracted to him? AQ AQ, Lets take a cue from an evolved species — the prawns of the Malabar Coast. Insensitive people say they taste delicious, but there’s much more to the prawns than that. They set up a breeding market, at a certain time of the year, and partners are picked and dropped faster than India’s opening batsman for test cricket. The point I am trying to make here is that the only difference between the prawns and us, is that we don’t taste so good, with or without a curry. In reality, we are also in a breeding free-for-all, but customs, and in some cases laws, make you alter that behaviour. You have to decide which organisation you feel more attuned to. The prawn company or human beings; and friends, there is no judgement, no right and wrong. Just the way of the prawn or the way of the human.

I have liked a guy since at least three years. In fact, I broke up a year back because I wanted to date him. But he rejected my proposal. He said he needed time. About five months back, he rejected my proposal again and gave the same reason. What should I do? GI

GI, You remind me of a very young Sunil Gavaskar. Gavaskar would negotiate ball after ball on difficult wickets with dogmatic tenacity. Sorry, actually I just wanted to use the phrase “dogmatic tenacity” and just haven’t got a good opportunity. GI, the guy has rejected your proposal twice. He knows you are single, knows you are into him, and that you dumped your ex for him; yet he’s continues to reject you. There’s a huge possibility he’s just not into you. And twice is twice too much. While I admire your dogmatic tenacity (sorry, I needed to do that again), you must accept the possibility that he’s not interested. So, don’t waste your tenacity, dogmatic or otherwise, (thanks for that), on him.

About a month back, I started talking to a girl from my colony. I had been interested in her since a long time. Two weeks back, she accepted my proposal. And we are getting married in September. Am I going too fast? Should I know her more before tying the knot?

NN

Karl Lugen, the Belgian sociopath who killed 22 pairs of twins, (‘cause he didn’t like even numbers), wrote a book while on death row called Love and Time. Lugen, who fell in love with his lawyer in prison and broke up with her when he found out she had twins, said that there was no coordination between time and love. Whether it is five minutes or 50 years, love can happen in any time frame. It is only when five minutes drag on and it feels like 50 years that you know you are not in love. So don’t overanalyse the time frame. Focus on if and how much you love this girl.