I am not bruised or burnt by industry’s cynicism, says Tillotama Shome
Tillotama Shome’s career has been anything but conventional. The actor has spent close to two decades in showbiz doing a majority of international co-productions or small budget films, getting awards along the way. But winning an award for her work in India eluded her, until now.
The actor, who for the longest time was stereotyped as the Monsoon Wedding (2001) girl, was recently feted in Mumbai for her role as a housemaid in a film titled Sir, which has had an impressive festival run.
Tillotama says winning her first award in India is a matter of acceptance. “I have no idea why it took so long. Perhaps it’s my face; perhaps it’s because I am a bit odd and socially awkward. But it boils down to the kind of films I have done,” she shares, adding, “It’s not a matter of visibility or PR. It was a desire to be considered a part of the film industry. I enjoy the freedom of being in the margins, but, at times, it gets lonely. And I never chose to be the flag-bearer of independent cinema. I just made the best of what I got. This win is more than just a win; it’s a matter of acceptance.”
The actor says her true victory in the industry lies in sustenance.
“I suppose my true victory is that I’m still here, doing what I love doing and I am not bruised and burnt by the cynicism. I have a wonderful ecosystem of friends who nourish me. I have accepted the fact that my journey will be a bit bizarre, but I think it’ll always be fun.”
Things, however, have changed for her, and she says it is because now she has the courage to tell directors that she wants to work with them “with lots of love and not a cloying need”.
“A celebrated writer from our industry told me that I was like seepage. There is no way that you can live in Mumbai and avoid seepage; it always creeps up on you. I decided to take it as a compliment and not overthink it! I’m stubborn and I’m here to stay,” she says.
The actor, whose film Raahgir had its world premiere at Busan International Film Festival, adds, “I’m happy that the film has had such a wonderful start. I wish it safe passage. Independent cinema is like going to battle; there are levels of danger at every stage and, of course, great joy, too.”
My true victory is that I’m still here, doing what I love doing... I have a wonderful ecosystem of friends... I have accepted the fact that my journey will be a bit bizarre, but it’ll always be fun.
TILLOTAMA SHOME ACTOR