‘When it comes to men, first date is almost always best’

I am a 27-year-old lady and have been single for almost two years. My friend has set up a blind date for me but I am extremely confused. I don’t know what to expect and how do I react when I see this person. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

SR

SR, so lucky. Any married person would happily exchange situations with you. Blind dates can be fun. According to Pollack and Shastri, (who claim to have invented the concept), the chance of having a good blind date is 57%. So if you go on two blind dates, one should be a good one. If you go on four blind dates, two should be enjoyable, if you go on eight blind dates... er, you get the picture. The romance of the unknown… it reminds us of what the Vikram Lander may have expected before the not-so-successful landing. Why negative thoughts? When it comes to men, the first date is almost always the best.

I am a 30-year-old guy and the father of a two-year-old boy. My parents live in Pune. I live in Andheri (Mumbai), while my wife and son live in Powai (Mumbai) with her parents. She has been there since the birth of our child. I want her to live with me but she refuses to leave her parents. What to do?

FF

FF, I smell danger. I also smell smoke. But that’s probably because my mom is making pakodas in the kitchen. Powai and Andheri are like present-day India and Pakistan. They have little in common. Powai has wide roads, parks, schools, and Andheri has, well, Andheri. Many newborn mothers go to their parents’ house. Here, they have so many adventures, such as your wife’s mom holding the baby while she changes from one web series to another. This is something you husbands will never do. But in your particular case, it’s also definitely to do with the location. No one who leaves Andheri is likely to ever go back. Maybe it’s time to talk to her parents as well. You have two choices, (a) You move to Powai, and (b) You convince her that marriage means husband and wife living together. At least in the first 10 years.

I am a 26-year-old guy, in a relationship for the last year. We stay quite far away but in the same city. We don’t get to meet and this is creating problems. What should I do?

NP

Let me start with a Chinese parable. Chow-Yoo-Fa had three grown up daughters, who-- Okay, I’ve just been told this particular parable does not apply to you. Your problem is distance. This can be solved by one word — cab. I have mentioned this in 477 of my columns — distance is the one thing that lovers can overcome today. Thanks to technology that has advanced, you have a million ways to stay connected. And since you are very stubborn, and refuse to call a cab, I think you will definitely need to come up with a disciplined programme, where maybe twice a week at a certain time, you guys will meet, come what may.

I am a 28-year-old woman and am supposed to get married next year, but I am so not sure if he is the one. How do I either make things work or just end it for good? How should I convince my parents if things don’t work?

SB

The Cuban filmmaker Eddie D’Cruz came up with a formula to check how much a couple loved each other. He put his saliva on his middle finger of his right hand, and then placed that finger on his wife. If the finger stuck to her, it was supposed to symbolise true love. In reality, his wife slapped him, and then complained to his mother, who also slapped him. SB, without informing your families, just go on a holiday with him for a few days. Just the two of you. If after the holiday, you still get along, you will have your answer. If not try the very famous saliva test. But make sure his mother is around to do the needful.