Avoiding virtual miscommunication
Ever read an email or text and instantly felt irritated or hurt? You’re not alone! Such experiences are common among all users of technology. One may have thought that miscommunication would reduce with the advancement of technology. However, this isn’t the case.
“Communication is treated as the major part for maintaining a relationship, as it conveys your inner thoughts and feelings to the other person,” says Dr Aarti Dahiya, a relationship expert.
Saying something through text messages is a lot different from saying it in person, as the former lacks the body language, eye contact and the emotional connect. Without any information other than words — typically, very few words — the meaning we make out of messages we receive is necessarily shaped by our own feelings and expectations. Consequently, what we believe is being said may have very little to do with what the sender wants to communicate.
Geeta Ramakrishnan, an author and ontological coach, says, “Many times, what you convey gets lost in translation, despite the common language used, especially in online communication, where cues like voice tone and facial expression are absent...You tend to assume the other person understands things the way you would. For example, when you send a message saying, ‘Get me that report in half an hour’, you might get one, but not necessarily the one you had in mind.”
To simplify the dissonance, it makes sense to be mindful when writing a message online. “Whenever writing online, give a tentative feel to it. Phrases like, ‘I think’ or ‘I feel’ should be used often to give messages an unintentional feel,” suggests Pulkit Sharma, a relationship expert, adding that it is best to avoid any important communication online.
Phrasing your messages in an explicit manner prevents miscommunication. This is especially recommended in high-stake circumstances, or when you don’t know the other person well.
“Be more polite in your conversations. To make questions or commands more polite, wrap them in indirectness. ‘Give me your phone number’ should be turned into ‘would you mind giving me your phone number?’” adds Sharma.