FEMALE PRIEST, NO KANYADAN: WEDDINGS BREAK STEREOTYPES
Couples are showing the way ahead, unfazed by conventional mindset
Undeterred by questions such as ‘Can a male priest accompany you?’ and ‘Are you an assistant?’ India’s female priests or priestesses are challenging age-old patriarchal norms. It’s been a while since couples, especially brides, are having female priests officiate their weddings. And ever since actor Dia Mirza shared a photo of a female priest, Sheela Atta, solemnising her wedding, the spotlight is back on gender equality and the need to discourage conventional customs like kanyadan and dowry. Couples across the country are taking the brave, unconventional step of getting their marriages officiated by priestesses.
‘CELEBS ARE HELPING BREAK THE AGE-OLD TRADITION’
For Dubai-based Astuti Singh, a property marketing and communication manager, getting her marriage officiated via a female priest in 2012 was the like the “first taste of feminism”. “Mom decided that her friend, who is a female priest, will conduct my wedding. For her, it was nothing more than a blessing of Ma Durga. Celebrities have immense power to support a cause and bring about a constructive change. We want more such powerful people to contribute to such practices,” she says, hailing Mirza’s decision.
‘KEHTE THE LADIES NAHIN CHAHIYE’
Pune-based priestess Suniti Balwant Gadgil feels the mindset has changed over time. “Pehle mahila priest ke paas zyada jaate nahin the. Jo ladies ki puja hoti hain, sirf usi mein bulate the. Kehte the ‘Ladies nahin chahiye’.
Baad mein samaj badal gaya. Abhi Pune mein koi problem nahin hai,” says the 67-year-old, who has officiated weddings in Delhi, Jaipur and even Dubai.
‘PEOPLE THOUGHT OF ME AS AN ASSISTANT’
“If a male priest is accompanying me, people would think he’s the senior and I’m his assistant,” laughs Manisha Shete, another Pune-based priest who has solemnised over 100 weddings, both in India and abroad. “Agar hum dono mahilayein jaati hain, toh kaafi baar log kehte hain ‘nahin koi ek male priest aa sakte hain kya’. Yeh profession male-dominated hai, mere ek do challenging experiences the, par zyada nahi,” says the 51-year-old, adding that the trend needs to reach smaller towns.
‘BOTH OF US WERE GIVEN EQUAL STATUS’
Anshu Mukherjee, a Delhi-based teacher who got married in December last year, chose Shubhamastu, a Kolkata-based collective of priestesses, to officiate, for she wanted her wedding to be “something memorable, not run-off-themill”. “Shubhamastu believes in the religion of humanity. Traditions like kanyadan were omitted, the ceremony was ethereal. My husband and I were given equal status, the vows we exchanged became more meaningful, as they were translated and explained. The sindoor ceremony was performed after I applied a vermilion tikka on the groom’s forehead,” she adds.
‘SAW FEMALE PRIEST AT MY BESTIE’S WEDDING’
Pune-based radio jockey, Meenal V Patil, whose marriage was officiated by a female priest, says, “I’ve been raised by very strong women. When I met my mom-in-law to-be, I just knew I had to get a woman to handhold me at the start of such a beautiful phase in life. I’ve always observed that the women around me make everything better and I knew, call it being superstitious, that if a woman conducted my wedding ceremony, it would be a great omen to start with. Also, I saw my bestie’s wedding officiated by a female priest, and knew how lovely their ceremony was. So, I had to have that on my big day, too.”
Delhiite Anshu Mukherjee’s wedding was officiated by a collective of priestesses led by Nandini Bhowmik