TROUBLE IN PARADISE? TRY OBJECTIVE WRITING TO HELP WITH CONFLICTS
A new study reveals how writing can help deal with pandemic-induced relationship conflicts
AWriting from a neutral standpoint allows individuals to reframe their thoughts about disagreements and process the event in an objective light. LINDSEY RODRIGUEZ, Associate professor of psychology
ccording to a new research from USF’s (University of South Florida) St Petersburg campus, individuals who wrote about their relationship troubles during the pandemic from the point of view of a neutral observer faced less conflict and aggression with their partners. The findings of the study were published in the journal Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice.
Led by associate professor of psychology Lindsey Rodriguez, the study surveyed 716 American adults across the US and at the height of the pandemic lockdowns. The participants were asked to fill out a baseline assessment to measure the frequency, duration and intensity of the conflicts in the relationship, followed by a brief writing exercise. Some individuals were asked to write about a recent disagreement in their relationship from the point of view of a neutral third party who had the couples’ best interest in mind, such as a mutual friend. They were then asked to use this perspective with their partners in the coming weeks. Others were asked to express their deepest thoughts and feelings about problems in their relationship or with another person, and the rest to write about mundane tasks like laundry, house cleaning or lawn care.
Two weeks later, participants completed an assessment asking about recent relationship events. Results showed those who wrote about disagreements from the point of view of a neutral third party reported fewer disagreements and lower levels of conflict intensity as compared to the control groups.
“Writing from a neutral standpoint allowed the individuals to reframe their thoughts about their disagreements, opening up a new way for people to process the event in a more objective light,” Rodriguez said.
Findings show support for a brief and cost-effective strategy that can help couples mitigate some of the negative interactions that have arisen due to the pandemic.
Romantic conflict is known to have escalated during the Covid-19 pandemic. A survey conducted early on in the pandemic found that 34% of participants in relationships had increased conflicts due to the spread of Covid-19 and quarantine measures. Other researches indicated that lockdowns have exacerbated domestic violence.
Greater stress due to fear and uncertainties about jobs, health, finances and the future seeped into how partners interacted with one another. Consistent with the time data was collected, participants in the study reported arguing over finances, parenting and substance use as well as how to handle Covid-19 safety precautions such as whether to wear a mask or stay home. Being locked at home for extended periods of time contributed to heightened disagreements and, in some cases, violence. “Couples stuck indoors together under tremendously stressful conditions can be a dangerous combination with the potential for domestic violence,” Rodriguez said. Though this research and its findings are tied to conflicts during the pandemic, the introspective exercise can be helpful for couples in any context. “The practice of doing it within yourself allows for the space to process in ways that might lead to more empathy, understanding and compromise,” Rodriguez concluded.