Why live-in relationships should not be looked down upon
Relationship experts argue moving in together would help couples understand one another and test their compatibility
Ghaziabad resident Pooja Sharma wanted to move in with her partner, but wasn’t ready for marriage. A live-in relationship, therefore, felt comfortable. But, she wasn’t prepared for the rejection she faced from family and friends. And there are many like Sharma, who want to live with their partners, but are looked down upon for expressing the same.
Dynamics between two people change completely, when it comes to a wedding. “With marriage comes a lot of pressure, expectations and responsibilities. But in live-in relationships, you have your own space, which also stands as a test of whether the people living together want to continue doing so,” says couples’ therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo.
She explains, “When you start living with someone, you get to know more about each other, find out if you can live with your partner and then decide if you are ready to tie the knot. If compatibility is an issue, moving out is always an option.”
But, if that happens in a marriage, an individual comes under the pressure of being tagged a divorcee. “When you get out of a relationship, you can start afresh. But, when you come out of a marriage, it stays with you. In our society, where live-in relationships are looked down upon, imagine living as a divorcee. So, when two people are not allowed to live together without them getting married, we are forcing marriage on them,” opines psychologist Pulkit Sharma.
He goes on to reason how moving in gives a chance for even same-sex relationships to be tested. “Myriad sexualities exist today, and they are not legally allowed to get married. So, how will they pursue their relationship? In such cases, a live-in setup presents itself as an opportunity to explore the relationship for everyone,” believes Sharma.
Finances also play a big part in relationships, feels Sadhoo. “Many couples part ways after marriage because of financial issues. But, this does not arise in live-in relationships, as you don’t owe each other anything financially,” she reasons.
When you start living with someone round the clock, you get to know a lot about each other... You can then decide if you’re ready to tie the knot. SHIVANI MISRI SADHOO, Couples’ therapist