Lonely and burnt out? Authentic connection isn’t too far away

A large number of South Koreans are taking to adopting pet stones — but here’s how you can find the right kind of ‘rock’ to lean on

Most people who complain of symptoms of depression and anxiety is because they are lonely. There are not many people around to co-regulate, which is very important for our nervous system. SEEMA HINGORRANY, Clinical psychologist-trauma expert

Even with bustling malls, blinking hoardings and swarms of people, big cities can breed loneliness. Isolation in top metropolises is a rising malaise, and it’s getting people to lean on the most banal things for company. For instance, in South Korea, a recent report showed that South Korean millennials are keeping pet rocks as company to combat burnout and pangs of loneliness. It’s telling of how urban isolation and sadness are rampant across the world.

LOSS OF AUTHENTIC COMMUNICATION

Seema Hingorrany, clinical psychologist, says, “Most people who complain of depression and anxiety, are lonely. There are not many people around to co-regulate with, which is very important for our nervous system. When people realise that everybody is busy, you resort to something that can be therapeutic, like having plants or stones around. The thought is, ‘I need something to ground myself when I am lonely’.” However, grounding cannot be a replacement for co-regulation with humans, says Hingorrany.

DEALING WITH IT

Dr Sneha Sharma, a Delhibased consultant-psychiatrist, shares a 10-point plan to address feelings of loneliness: Start doing chores that need you to get out of the house. Social interactions do not always have to be always deep. All verbal and nonverbal communication helps us feel connected. Hence, consider welcoming small talk more often. Identify people who are important and meaningful emotionally for you and invest time in a week to connect with them in person or digitally.

Convert loneliness into solitude by finding things that you enjoy doing in your everyday life and start taking out time for them. Invest in your health and wellness.

Fill your day with activities that are important for your mental and physical health. It leads to a sense of accomplishment.

If you can afford the time and money necessary for their well-being, consider adopting pets. Furry friends can offer company and comfort and reduce feelings of isolation. Developing a garden or tending to plants can bring joy and satisfaction.

Be out and about in nature whenever possible. Volunteer for something , so you come across like-minded individuals.

Look for book clubs or art clubs and other similar places that offer a chance to socialise in your locality.