India Today - - COVER STORY -

RE­DE­FINE YOUR IDEA OF BAL­ANCE First ques­tion your def­i­ni­tion of bal­ance. My idea of bal­ance is not what your’s is. Some peo­ple may want to work week­ends or late nights, while oth­ers may not. There is no right or wrong, it’s com­pletely in­di­vid­ual. So be at peace with how many hours you want to split be­tween your home and of­fice.

LET GO OF PER­FEC­TION We grow up with this im­age of the per­fect woman in our heads and want to be her when we grow up. But it’s an unattain­able ideal. For in­stance I can’t cook, but that doesn’t mean I love my fam­ily any less. Life is about com­ing to terms with your own re­al­ity, not your mother or mother- in- law’s re­al­ity.

RIGHT EX­PEC­TA­TIONS It’s cru­cial that you set the right ex­pec­ta­tions with your part­ner or hus­band be­fore you get mar­ried. You need to be cer­tain about what is im­por­tant to you and what is not. I keep telling my em­ploy­ees that THE most im­por­tant ca­reer de­ci­sion you make is who you marry. Most women marry with­out hav­ing im­por­tant dis­cus­sions with their part­ners on ex­pec­ta­tions and rules. And that is where most of the pres­sure and prob­lems be­gin. Be­cause you get mar­ried and it is ex­pected that you will be the pri­mary care giver. It is ex­pected that you will be home ev­ery day by 5 pm and cook din­ner. And that’s where the guilt trips be­gin. I would en­cour­age ev­ery young woman plan­ning to get mar­ried to sit down and have a very frank talk with her part­ner about what you are ca­pa­ble of do­ing. You have to know where he stands. That con­ver­sa­tion needs to hap­pen and it doesn’t hap­pen of­ten enough.

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