“The power of love is very strong”
Author Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni feels that a woman should first love and value herself before looking to others for affection
How tough is it to retell an epic which has had reams already written about it? Pose this question to award-winning author, poet and activist, Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, and she says that she always knew that one day she would be writing the story of Sita. In The Forest of Enchantments, which will be releasing in January, Divakaruni has made Sita the chief protagonist and written the story from her point of view.
What made you write The Forest of Enchantments?
I wanted to write Sita’s story for a long time, in fact ever since I decided to write novels reinterpreting our Indian epics. Having said that, I knew it would be a challenge. Her character is very complex and nuanced. I thought about her, and took notes on her, for years, but then I kept saying to myself, “I’ll write the novel after I have some more experience, after I become a better writer.” It took a family emergency for me to realise how fragile life is, and how uncertain. After that, I didn’t want to delay this book any more. I threw myself completely into The Forest of Enchantments, setting aside a half-written murder-mystery novel.
What’s so different about Sita’s story in The Forest of Enchantments?
The Ramayana, like the Mahabharata, is fascinating because the stories in both are so complex, magical, ancient and yet relevant to our current lives. They deal with the great conflicts and questions of human existence. Their characters grab hold of our attention and don’t let go because we recognise bits of ourselves in them. There’s something archetypal about Sita, particularly. Through her life, some important questions are brought up. What does it mean to be a good person and a good woman? How should we respond when we are treated wrongly? From where do we draw courage when faced with danger or when caught in a hopeless situation?
Is Sita the role model for women all over the world, especially for modern women, who are vocal about their needs and desires?
Sita, as I said, is timeless, and she handles some timeless challenges very well. For instance, she shows us how to communicate with the person we love, and to persuade him to do what we think is right even after he has clearly said no. That is when she gets Ram to agree that she should go with him to the jungle. The arguments she uses are quite striking, but I don’t want to give everything away.
Should a woman be like Sita?
Sita is both gentle and strong. Even when faced with challenges such as being abducted by Ravan or being abandoned in the forest by Ram when she is pregnant, she doesn’t lose hope. She struggles but doesn’t give up. Nor does she become harsh or bitter. If we can learn this from her, our lives would be greatly enriched.
How do you define the power of love?
This is a tough question. The power of love is very strong. It can be positive, or, when love becomes an obsession (like Ravan’s), it can be devastating. Throughout The Forest of
Enchantments, Sita is trying to define and redefine love, because it means different things at different stages of our relationship to people. And there are so many kinds of love—love for the husband, wife or partner, for a child, and love and esteem for oneself. But one thing about love that I think is important for Sita—and for myself, and for other women today—is that in love, we have to balance the desire to give to the beloved with the need to protect and respect ourselves.
Talking about the relationship of Shiva and Shakti, why is it seen as the perfect balance between male and female?
My understanding of the relationship of Shiva and Shakti is that it is a bond between two individuals (in this case, cosmic entities) who are different but equal and totally committed to each other. They appreciate each other’s differences and strengths, and allow each other enough freedom to do what is important to them. They don’t try to dictate what the other person should do. But are there to support each other no matter what. Certainly I think such relationships exist—within marriages and also outside marriages. They may be rare, but all good relationships between men and women (and even between other gender combinations) possess some amount of this. Such relationships are worth striving for.
Do you believe women should be true to themselves and speak their mind, especially when it comes to her partner?
I think so. Communication lies at the heart of successful relationships, particularly marriage. And the sooner we learn to communicate with each other, the better. Communication and honesty go hand in hand. Of course, intelligent communication also takes into account how we are to speak— with gentleness and affection and humour, I hope.
Relationships nowadays are tricky. Any recipe for success?
I think getting hurt is part of the human condition. Any relationship that is deep has the potential to cause pain. I know this as a daughter, wife, mother, and friend. One thing is certain—demanding anything is a formula for failure. Maybe, instead of demanding love, we can command it through our own behaviour of loving, giving, communicating and being respectful—not just to our partner, but also to ourselves. If a woman loves and values herself enough—and I think at a certain point in her life Sita learns to do that—then she is happy with herself, and at peace.