A WHOLE LOTTA LOVE
IN MANY A NORTH INDIAN MICROPOLIS, SEXUAL REVOLUTION HAS COME TO TOWN AND EVERYBODY IS LOVING IT
MMONEY ISN’T NEW TO INDORE,
often described as the commercial capital of Madhya Pradesh. But post-liberalisation, the scale— manifested in the mushrooming of malls, multiplexes, swanky cars, farmhouses and posh real estate—has seen a massive upswing. The city, whose residents like to refer to it as ‘Mini Bombay’ owing to its close commercial ties with the metropolis, has also shown a knack for spending its hard-earned riches. And how.
There are more than a 100 flights taking off from the city’s airport every day but what is significant is that the flights to and from Mumbai, especially towards the weekend, have a substantial passenger load hailing from certain countries. These countries, most of them with rich historical and cultural backgrounds, have witnessed a downswing in their fortunes and are now known the world over as prominent contributors to the oldest profession in the world— prostitution. The arrival of out-of-work starlets is also common in Indore—there are stories pertaining to them, too. The police in Indore are aware of what is happening, but there is a sense of acceptance—as long as it’s not in your face, or out on the streets, they seem to be alright with it.
A sizeable part of the money being spent on entertainment in Indore is on solicited paid sex. The farmhouses and resorts that have mushroomed all over Indore in the past few years are where the service providers are taken to, for private parties. Indore, once ruled by the Holkars and dominated by the unassuming and modest Marathi community, has come a long way on how it deals with disposable incomes. “Commerce is the lifeline of the city. Many an Indore resident sees relationships as a waste of time, something that comes in the way of their pursuit of wealth.
Paid sex is a far better, no-strings-attached option...the chase is minimal, the kill certain,” says an Indore-based banker. The city has also attracted a large population of youngsters from neighbouring towns for work or study. “This demographic enjoys the anonymity the city affords them. Their treatment of sex is somewhere between a profession and an emotional issue,” says the banker. He alleges these youngsters are willing to befriend people on social media, even Tinder, and go out with them provided the ‘friends’ take care of their material needs, be it smartphones, outings or gifts of all kinds.
Connectivity, too, has played a prominent role in bringing about this change in mindset in Indore. The city now has a flight to Dubai as well. Travel agents in the city point out that Bangkok is a very popular holiday destination, especially among all-male groups. No wonder the next international connection from Indore—expected to be announced anytime now—is Bangkok.
It is always difficult to discern sexual habits and mores in smaller towns. The india today sex survey findings are based on a limited number of respondents in each city and town and are only indicative. They cannot be extrapolated to the population of the entire town or city.
It is with caution that we report that 48 per cent of those surveyed in Indore said yes to having had paid sex. Women respondents seem to be on the path to sexual emancipation, if not already there. Of the 27 per cent overall respondents who claimed to have used dildos for pleasure, a large number, 66 per cent, came from Indore. Also, for 75 per cent of the city’s respondents, virginity was not an issue. Some may even see it as a sign of empowerment, normal for a city that was once ruled by a woman. Around 84 per cent respondents also said they talk about sex with their partners as it makes them feel connected. Overall, 92.5 per cent of the respondents said they were happy with their sex lives.
Despite all the wealth and the changes it has brought about, a part of Indore is still small town, with all its ‘virtues’. It is here that the dichotomy between being okay with solicited sex outside marriage and keeping the family system intact is most on display among the respondents. Indore, in that sense, isn’t different from any other Indian city.
A CITY AT THE CROSSROADS
Despite the clinical symmetry that comes from an architecture of clean, sharp grid lines, over the past decade-and-a-half, Chandigarh, has
emerged as a city of light for people across Haryana, Punjab, Himachal Pradesh and Jammu & Kashmir. No longer a sleepy stretch of 114 km, which at one point was preferred by retirees from the country’s northern belt, the city has grown not just in terms of population but also facilities in tune with its cosmopolitan nature. Bars, night clubs, malls, proximity to the hills and an explosion of private educational institutes in and around the city have ensured that it has become a destination of choice for youngsters from adjoining states.
With a diverse young population, Chandigarh, which a few decades back could have been termed conservative, has undergone a metamorphosis, going by its respondents. Take the case of 24-year-old Sunaina Sharma (name changed on request) from Himachal Pradesh, who shares an apartment with her boyfriend in Sector 45. Enrolled at a civil services preparatory institute, Sharma says the duo didn’t face any problems renting the place. “I made it clear to my landlady that my partner would be living with me. She didn’t seem surprised at all. Many of my friends who have lived here all their lives say this would not have been possible a decade back.”
Rajesh Gill, 58, professor of sociology at Panjab University, Chandigarh, finds the data thrown up by the india today sex survey “interesting”. She says, “From the label of a ‘dead city’ a few decades back, it has graduated to a place which is openminded in all respects, including sex. A growing young population also means that sex will no longer be spoken about in whispers. People here are becoming much more liberal.”
For Shreya Goswamy (45, name changed on request), who was in an extra-marital affair a year back, the city’s liberal and non-interfering attitude ensured that her life didn’t become miserable. “Of course, most people in my circle knew. We were at various social-dos together. But I don’t remember anyone making me uncomfortable. The well-travelled upper middle class in this city lets you be, and that’s quite a change from a decade back.”
Dr Simmi Warraich, a consultant psychiatrist who has practised in Chandigarh for several decades now, feels that youngsters coming to the city find an environment where they are young adults and not the overprotected children they were at home. The sudden freedom, the anonymity of a city far from home, 24-hour uncensored access to the mobile phone, living with peers who are experimenting with sex plus the mushrooming of dating apps such as Tinder breed a more open mindset when it comes to sex. “So many people now come to me and discuss sex without any inhibitions. They talk openly about same sex relationships or bisexuality,” she says. Observing that a big reason behind the ‘sex revolution’ is also the emergence of the new woman who is financially independent, highly educated and aspirational, Dr Warraich adds, “This generation of young women is different from their mothers.”
THE MEDS BOOST
For Jaipur respondents, sex remains a personal issue, only to be discussed with their doctors (if need be) and explored through fantasies. Eighty-seven per cent respondents said they took Viagra or its variants. Dr Sudhir Bhandari, principal of SMS Medical College and Hospital, Jaipur, Rajasthan’s largest state-run medical institution, holds a different view: “Of late, I find there is a lot of awareness among people including the women of Jaipur about how various medical conditions can adversely affect the libido, and the cures for it.” The survey findings reveal that people might be reluctant to talk about sex openly, but they are discussing sexual problems with medical practitioners more freely than ever. “Many of them do disclose how diabetes has affected their sexual performance, and we try to prescribe medicines for them accordingly,’’ says Dr Bhandari. He says sexual dysfunction or loss of potency can be the first indicator of heart problems. So it is more than likely that most respondents who said they have been taking medications could be doing so on the recommendation of their doctors. The survey also indicates that two-thirds of the respondents spend less than 30 minutes in the sexual act including foreplay which again could be an indicator of the sexual problems they might be facing.
That the respondents in Jaipur discuss their sexual problems and related myths with their doctors is quite a contrast to other survey findings like 66 per cent change the topic when sex enters the conversation, or the importance given to virginity—81 per cent were concerned about it. This conservative approach is reflected in the way people make their disapproval apparent about women who dress in western styles. It is perhaps these repressed feelings that find an expression in behaviour such as spanking or having sex in the open. Some 62 per cent of Jaipur’s respondents also watch porn regularly. The need for Viagra and such could also be an impact of watching excess pornography, leading to performance anxiety and then again the urge to consult doctors. The survey also finds that the city is opening up to same-sex relationships and discussions on gay and lesbian couples. Even transvestites have been making a presence at the rooftop bars and night clubs that have sprung up in the city in the past couple of years.
THE DIVERSE, YOUNG CROWD HAS HELPED CHANDIGARH IN ITS METAMORPHOSIS