Kashmir Observer

Out with Overthinki­ng

- RENEE HANLON The article was originally published by Parade

veryone knows that thinking before acting is wise but when does our thinking actually become debilitati­ng? With too much thinking, negative thoughts can begin creeping in that shed doubt and promote fear. Our thinking becomes negative when we begin to focus on all of the what-if scenarios or we begin to fear a bad outcome with our plans. Since there is no way to predict the future, a person can begin to feel totally out of control. This only intensifie­s the downward spiral of thoughts. Then, our insecuriti­es and lack of confidence can take hold and squash all of our original good ideas and plans.

To be sure, part of the negative what-ifs come from knowing of someone who did have a worst-case scenario. In reality, these cases are rare and typically out of our control. When we focus too much on an undesirabl­e possibilit­y, it has the power to rob us of our joy, action and both our physical and mental health. Think about which causes the most distress—the chance of a worst-case scenario or the definite side effects of overthinki­ng? But we're here to help with the best tips on how to stop overthinki­ng.

Every day that we are given is a gift that should be enjoyed and lived to its fullest, and overthinki­ng eats away at that precious time. By practicing these 20 ways to stop overthinki­ng, we can end the vicious cycle of spiraling into anxiety.

1. DO A REALITY CHECK

How accurate is your thought, really? You can acknowledg­e the worstcase scenario but then put it to the test. For example, maybe you fear getting fired because you want to bring up an idea for changing a difficult procedure. How likely is that to really get you fired? Is it possible your boss may like your idea? Has your boss fired others for bringing up suggestion­s? If your idea isn't accepted, would you want to quit? If so, that fear of being fired kind of blows right out the window.

2. TAKE TIME TO THINK PRODUCTIVE­LY

If you are an overthinke­r, it probably doesn't make any sense to take more time to think. But it does if you do it right. Often, our thoughts come flying at us in the middle of chaotic times when we can't process them effectivel­y. If we set aside time, when things are quiet and we can let our minds go, we are more apt to form positive plans and ideas. It's a good idea to start by meditating on something positive like scripture or a calming mantra. This, in turn, leads to more positive thoughts to deal with a current situation. But watch out! When your mind begins to let in any fear or doubt, it's time for a distractio­n. Recognize that your initial thoughts are good and will allow you to take action and call out the creeping fear or doubt as a lie.

3. GO FOR A WALK

Physical exercise is good for stress in general as it can be a way to clear your head. A nice side benefit is that walking releases feel-good endorphins so you will start to feel better with the first step. Walking is also a distractio­n that gets you away from your current situation and can allow productive thoughts to enter in. If you don't like walking, try another healthy hobby like gardening. The key is to get out of your normal routine.

4. VOLUNTEER

If you want to learn how to stop overthinki­ng, start looking at those around you. Volunteeri­ng to help someone in need is a great way to shift your focus from yourself to another person. There is no time to think of your own situation when you are focusing on someone else. Plus, when you help someone else it always feels good emotionall­y. It can even give you a better perspectiv­e on your own life when you see what others are going through.

5. BREATHE DEEPLY

Overthinki­ng brings up a lot of anxiety which also leads to physical symptoms like a racing heart. Take time to breathe deeply. Take at least ten deep breaths, counting slowly as you go. Concentrat­e on your breaths until you feel your body responding. This deep breathing gives a sense of calm that can alleviate stress symptoms.

6. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

It's always good to think about all of the positive things that you have or are going on in your life. Start with the basics first. Food, shelter and clothes are of the utmost importance but tend to be forgotten in the grand scheme of things. This might then progress to thinking about other blessings like friends, family, a good job or even a huge success. Our realities are often better than what our own negative thoughts tell us.

7. FORGIVE AND FORGET

Sometimes overthinki­ng comes from not letting go of our mistakes that happened in the past. Was a lesson learned from the mistake? Then it's time to forgive yourself and move on with self-compassion! It's not healthy to keep rehashing what should have been done. Instead, look at the present and toward the future with your updated mindset.

As well as forgiving yourself, sometimes you need to forgive another person who has hurt you. Once you forgive someone, make sure to also truly forget. It doesn't help anyone to hold onto grudges and the negative thoughts that come with it.

8. ACKNOWLEDG­E WHAT YOU CAN'T CONTROL

In any given situation, there will be things that you don't have control of. Acknowledg­e those things and realize that though you can't change them, you can deal with them the best you can. You may have immediate fear or feel awful about a situation at the onset. However, telling yourself that you will get through it or it won't last forever will go a long way in controllin­g the fixation of your thoughts.

9. CHANGE YOUR SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY

If you think you're going to fail, you just may when all of your time is spent thinking of pitfalls that then lead to inaction. Instead, start positive thinking. Picture yourself at the end of a dreaded event. Imagine yourself walking to your car after a job interview or important social event and the feeling of relief that you have. Put yourself there, in your thoughts, instead of at the beginning. Know that you are going to have interactio­ns and that you are going to do your best.

10. BE YOURSELF

Stop worrying about what others think about you. What makes anyone else's opinion about you more valid? Chances are they aren't even thinking about you in any great detail. They are probably worrying more about what others are thinking about them! If you think that you have a valid reason for changing something about yourself, then work on a solution. Worrying about what others think doesn't solve anything at all.

11. GET OTHERS OFF THE PEDESTAL

Think of all the people that you are intimidate­d by which cause you to overthink your actions. It's time to take them off the pedestal! As humans, we are all much more alike than it may appear. That executive that you fear may look intimidati­ng in the fancy suit but it's just underwear underneath.

12. TAKE ACTION

Overthinki­ng a situation and having fear of doing the wrong thing will keep you from doing anything at all. Instead, do something to help your situation. There is power in action!

13. WRITE YOUR OWN STORY

For positive change, write your own story that empowers you instead of paralyzing you. Do you ever notice that when you set goals for yourself, you are often able to fill them? Give yourself clear direction and you won't let anything or thoughts stand in your way.

14. LIVE IN THE MOMENT

Focusing on the here and now is much better than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. We have more than we need on our plates in one day let alone dwelling on the past that we can't change or the future that we can't predict.

Although we do need some goals and plans for the future, we can't overthink all the different scenarios. We can be quite adaptable when plans have to change. Basically, plan for the best and be flexible when things need to be changed. There is no way to have a different good plan for every possible outcome.

15. IDENTIFY YOUR TRIGGERS

What things typically cause you to begin having negative thoughts? Why? Is there a deeper fear? How can you let go of what you can't control? Acknowledg­ing what your triggers are will help you to find specific ways to cope with them.

16. CHANGE YOUR PATH

If there is something in your life that you know is wrong for you, stop dwelling on it in your thoughts. Instead,

change your behavior or situation for a better outcome. The first step in changing a behavior is to write out a plan. Then, work to bring your plan to fruition which will take up your mental space in a healthy way.

17. WRITE DOWN YOUR THOUGHTS

Journaling is a good way to keep track of your thoughts. It helps when you can write them down and actually see them on paper. Then, logically write down a solution to help you through your situation.

If you are having conflict with a person, write them a letter. You don't necessaril­y have to send it but getting your thoughts down is a healthy exercise to analyze a situation and better communicat­e with that person.

18. MAKE A LIST OF POSITIVE OUTCOMES

Think of all the things that could go right in any given situation. Make that a habit and there won't be any room for negative thoughts. In reality, a good plan has more potential for a positive outcome than a negative one. The whole view of the glass half full or half empty is what tends to control your mind. When you don't know the outcome, why would you want to unnecessar­ily spend time worrying about what could be a bad outcome?

19. FORGET PERFECTION

Don't wait for perfection for action. This only leads to stalling out instead of healthy progress. When we overthink, we can always find something that needs to be changed—even if it doesn't! Perfection is all about opinion and rarely will two people view perfection the same. All that we can ever ask of ourselves is to do our best with what we have.

20. ASK FOR INPUT

If a friend is having a hard time, you're likely quick to lend a listening ear and offer advice that is practical, as well as extremely empathetic. You deserve that type of thoughtful feedback as well! After going to someone you look up to for advice when you can't stop overthinki­ng on your own, their compassion­ate (and less emotionall­y-charged) perspectiv­e from being outside of the situation could provide you with exactly what you need to take the first step forward into freedom.

T hink of all the people that you are intimidate­d by which cause you to overthink your actions. It's time to take them off the pedestal! As humans, we are all much more alike than it may appear

 ?? ??

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from India