Millennium Post

Forgivenes­s is the key

If your loved one is sincerely sorry and if you believe that this was a one-time thing then maybe it’s worth forgiving – give a chance to your RELATIONSH­IP AND FIGURE out a solution to work out the situation

- ROOPSHA DASGUUPTA RAY

My girlfriend had cheated on me. She is very apologetic and has seeked forgivenes­s. I do love her a lot but don’t know what to do. Should I forgive her? Vicky, New Delhi

Please forgive her if your inner voice is prompting you to do so. Trust your guts. If you feel that she is sincerely sorry and you believe that this was a one-time thing, maybe it’s worth trying to stay together and work out a solution. Breaking up with someone you still love is not necessaril­y the best option, especially if she still claims to

love you back. Give her a chance and

love her even more. Best of luck!

Why do I always fall for the wrong relationsh­ip? Should I fall in love again? Name withheld

Before you engage in another act of love, ask yourself what your true intention is. Are you giving without expectatio­n of receiving anything back in return? Are you keeping a score? Or, is there a part of your giving that is rooted in the hopes that you will get love and acknowledg­ement in return? If there isn’t a foundation of love, respect and commitment with the person you’re dating, giving more and doing nice things will not cause them to love you more, it’ll only result in you becoming increasing­ly attached. Don’t ever forget your worth. The moment you tolerate disrespect and disregard, you set precedent. Do use your heart and head before you leap.

My mother in law suffers from strange mood swings. She is very rude and misbehaves with me. We are married for just a year and I feel I can’t live with her anymore. How to convince my husband to move out and have our own place? R Ghosh, Kolkata

This is an age old problem everywhere. At first, you should speak to your husband about the issues you face. Tell him everything but at a time when he is not stressed or disturbed. Secondly, moving out is not always the best solution but making your husband understand your problem is. He should try to have a conversati­on with his mother. You both are newly married and so it important to try your

Don’t ever forget your worth – the moment you tolerate disrespect and disregard, you set precedent

best and adjust. If all attempts fail, move to a new city or to a new place near by. Don’t get upset. Love your husband enough for him to be your true friend who will help and stand by your side.

I want to control my tears. How can I? Suneha Raj, Noida

Crying as a part of human emotions is completely normal. It is important you don’t force yourself to stop crying because your tears help you express grief, anger, sadness and joy. Yet in situations we have to learn to control the tears too. I suggest, don’t blink, don’t move your eye balls, don’t shake your head. Just stare at the ceiling or the sky and take a deep breath. This way, you can prevent tears rolling down your face. And in your mind, try thinking about the beautiful days of your life and sweet memories. Sometimes the funniest things said by your friends during all those boring lectures, or even that funny meme you found on facebook can work wonders.

Send your questions to roopshasho­tm@gmail.com

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