We fight, we break up We kiss, we make up
Relationship experts suggest ways to end the cycle of flip-flopping and saving yourself the pain of constant break-ups...
Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna have reportedly called it quits on their relationship ‘yet again’. The reality TV stars, whose relationship has been punctuated by frequent splits and passionate reunions, bring to the fore the question whether it is a safe bet to patch up after repeated breakups. While there is no harm in trying to make another go for it, there would be some reasons for behaviour of this kind observes life coach and relationship advisor Chetna Mehrotra. “The root of this flip-flopping is unmet needs and expectations. So, whenever, as partners, people have minute disagreements or arguments all the piled up emotions arise and they want to immediately break-up without giving it a second thought. It is only after a while that they realise that they have committed a mistake and want to get back together,” she adds.
The withdrawal period gives you the time to evaluate the pros and cons, asserts life-coach Priya Kumar. “It provides perspective. In that moment of impulse, the best thing to do is give yourself some time. Ask questions and analyse. Can I adjust with this behaviour? Each comeback only hints that there are more good points than the bad points to stay together.”
The signs of a jerky relationship, however, are not healthy, “When unmet needs overpower wise decision making, partners often end up taking hasty decisions. What is important during such times is conveying what you feel and get clarity about the reasons first,” Chetna says. Relationship expert Dr Rajan Bhonsle feels that it a part of the growing-up process. “It has also got a lot to do with the display of immature behaviour, some people learn from their break-ups and their bond becomes stronger while others just fall apart. There is nothing wrong in breaking up and reconciling but again but you should know where to draw the line. Mature couples become strong while immature ones lose their partners due to hasty decisions.” The whole purpose for which the couple got together, will be lost if they are entangled in this chain of reconciling and falling apart. “Stay apart rather than being together, because if you are constantly breaking-up and coming back together each day, the relationship becomes poisonous and emotionally draining,” Chetna advises.
It is only after a while that they realise that they have committed a mistake and want to get back together — CHETNA MEHROTRA