“Take the responsibility of your actions”
QI’m a 29-year-old man. All my life I have done things as per my father’s instructions, which eventually led me to marry the wrong girl, who has left me with a oneyear-old kid. She is not even giving me a divorce, nor is she living with me. I’m tired of the mess and I don’t know how to deal with it? She refuses to talk and I don’t know what the problem is. Kindly help.
You seem to be having difficulty in standing up for yourself. Do you consider yourself assertive enough? If you had always listened to your father, and allowed him to choose what was best for you, then you have never taken ownership of yourself. Instead of blaming him, you must understand that you need to take the responsibility for yourself and your family.
What impression did your wife have of you while she was with you? It is not an easy thing to leave a one-year-old kid with the father and walk away from the marriage. Is she having any psychological disturbances that means she cannot take care of the child and feels assured that father and grandparents can take care of her baby?
Rather than feeling upset and angry about your situation and finding faults with others, try being responsible for yourself and your child. When you are responsible, you also can be less confused and decisive in your actions.
Regarding your wife, you might like to consult legal sources for help, when all the communication channels are closed, understand what the law says in such a scenario. You can approach legal assistance to help restitution of marital life or the custody of the child henceforth or any legal proceedings for mutual divorce. Good luck! —
This query has been answered by Dr N. Sucharita PhD, from Roshni Counselling Centre, Hyderabad 040-6666 1117/18 Write to us at feedback.age@gmail.com with “expert advice” in the subject line.