Move past an argument
Life coaches suggest ways to deal with a fight with your friends in a matured way and not make it a public spectacle
A fight with a dear friend can be heartbreaking; at times even worse than a break-up. Losing your best friend, whether it was to a massive fight or the result of a long going argument, it can often result in one venting out their anger on social media platforms. From personal grudges, fashion blunders to career envy, social media as a platform has seen friends turning foes many times.
Over the past few months, multiple celebrities like Demi Lovato and singer Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry and Taylor Swift seem to have decided they can’t play nice together anymore. While it doesn’t take long for relationships to turn sour, dealing with it in a mature way, and not making it a public spectacle, is the way ahead asserts psychologist Dr. Kashish A. Chhabria, “Emotional maturity is the key word here, if you are emotionally fragile and won’t like to be treated in a certain way, then you shouldn’t treat your friends in a manner that’ll hurt them. It’s important to find out what led to the friendship turning sour and analyse the situations instead of playing the blame-game,” she says.
One needs to make sure that the boundaries set in the relationship are very clear, and not demeaning, “When friends try to put each other down in the public space, these are nothing but signs of a dysfunctional mentality, they need to train themselves to behave in a manner that they keep their problems to themselves and not showcase it to the world,” explains life coach Khyati Birla.
It is often difficult, when you’re embroiled in a tiff between two friends, to pick sides. The best resort then is to stay neutral. “The common friend can simply sort it out and not take sides. They will need a lot of wisdom and patience to deal with it. To not interfere or intervene unnecessarily, listen to both the parties but do not take sides,” Kashish says. It’s always better to not resort to mud-slinging and blame-games and deal with it in a mature way. “It is important to rise above the arguments and remember all the good times spent together. Practice gratitude and solve things by sitting across the table. Keeping things to yourself and venting out anger everywhere won’t help,” says Khyati. “Give it some healing space, don’t react immediately but talk about it later, and find the cause of the problem, there are times when you might just want to forget what happened and move on eventually,” Kashish asserts.
Practice gratitude and solve things by sitting across the table — KHYATI BIRLA