‘Understand that marriage
is a private affair’
I’m a 56-year-old man. I’ve been trying to convince my daughter to get married but she refuses to oblige. She is 27-year-old now and I think this is the right time for her to settle down. We asked her if she is seeing someone and the reply was negative. She is not giving any concrete reason to not get married and this is causing me a lot of stress. We have tried reasoning with her but she refuses to cooperate and threatens to leave the house. I’m very worried, please help.
QAs a parent, it can seem worrisome that your daughter is not getting married. However, her reasons to stay single might also be valid. Be open to talking about her fears about marriage and raising a family. Pestering her to get married can come across as your own fears about what the society would think of your parenting. Understand that marriage is a private affair and the decision to get married is solely hers.
You could be thinking in terms of a need for security and companionship and a sense of belongingness in her future. Understand that our sense of security and happiness comes from within ourselves and people can feel lonely in relationships as well.
When you are reasoning with her decision she is unlikely to talk about her fears. You might have to be patient to understand her reasons for not wanting to get married rather than convincing her for the sake of family honour or parental responsibility or being socially blasphemed. In truth, she is aware of these concerns. Family counselling can help in being supportive each other and communicate.