Living with people

The most difficult thing to do is to live in peace and harmony with people. It is, perhaps, easier to live with birds and animals. Why is living with people a problem? We know that fire is hot and readily accept that fact. If we are burnt by touching fire, we do not blame it. Similarly, we accept the coolness of ice, the beauty of flowers, fruits, trees and plants. Again, if we are admiring a beautiful, full moon and someone else comes and starts appreciating it, we don’t say, “Why are you looking at my moon? You have no right to see it!” There is no sense of ownership, no possessiveness; there is acceptance without any projection of likes and dislikes.The Bhagavad Gita says that a wise person moves everywhere with love and affection. Like the wind blowing freely, he does not get attached to anything. He accepts all. Sometimes people behave nicely, sometimes they don’t. This neither elates nor depresses the wise person.On the other hand, we refuse to accept people as they are; we also have many expectations from them. If I expect something from someone, that person may have expectations from me too. I am unable to fulfill my own expectations of myself and also feel frustrated and upset with others when they fail to satisfy my expectations.

We must understand the message clearly and completely; one should accept facts as they are. Then, if a change is necessary, try to make it, but do not insist on it. Every parent wants the child to perform well and excel whether in sports or in studies. There is nothing wrong with that. But, to expect something that may not be possible for the child to do, and unnecessarily apply pressure and force, will cause frustration to all.When one is living with people, it is difficult to have no expectations at all. Therefore, have reasonable expectations. An artistically inclined child with no aptitude for commerce should not be forced into the family business. Expectations should be reasonable and based on knowledge and wisdom.As far as nature or the moon is concerned, we do not feel a sense of ownership or possessiveness. But with regard to people this feeling is deep-seated and can be very destructive. What we need is love and affection. Along with that there should be freedom and space, too. Two hands joined together leave a gap and can be easily separated. Similarly, we should give space to people. If you love a bird, will you cage it and expect it to be happy? It is not possible to love someone and also confine them in that love.