QUICK CROSSWORD

C. Fields said, "The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves."

The first time I went to a movie in the United States, in Chicago in 1971, I remember only one thing: the constant background noise of people eating popcorn. That was something no one did in England, where I was born and lived until 1985.

In bridge we have pancake hands -- those with 43- 3- 3 distribution. They tend not to be good for suit play, because the losers stay losers forever. They are better either in no- trump or on defense.

With that hint, look at the North hand in today's deal. South opens two notrump; what should North respond?

With a pancake, do not use Stayman to hunt for a 4- 4 spade fit; just raise to three no- trump.

Against that contract, West will probably lead his fourth- highest heart seven. South can run that to the nine, giving him eight top tricks: one spade, three hearts, two diamonds and two clubs. By cashing the spade ace and playing another spade, South will shortly establish a ninth trick in spades. Give that declarer some popcorn!

Suppose North does use Stayman, and South ends in four spades. West again leads the heart seven. What happens?

If South wins with his heart nine, then tries to enter dummy with a heart, East ruffs. So South cashes the spade ace, then plays another spade. West wins two spade tricks and exits with a heart. South will be unable to avoid losing one trick in each minor to go down one. Copyright United Feature Syndicate ( Asia Features)