The happiness mantra? Accepting that there isn’t one

◗ There are so many ‘ secrets’ to happiness, and barely any of them say the same thing. It’s almost like the whole concept is meaningless

The “secret of happiness” is sort of like the “meaning of life”; so many claim to know it, but odds are it doesn't apply to yours.

People always say money can’t buy you happiness, but everyone likes sex and sleeping, right? This would explain why new parents often look so miserable, being regularly deprived of both.

They say money can’t buy happiness, but “they” seldom want to let go of theirs.

OK, so, the key to happiness includes forgetting cash altogether, but only after you’ve got at least a £ 50k income? And does this mean if you don’t make £ 50k as soon as you start earning, you will never be happy? This would explain a lot about modern society and why everyone’s so angry.

Key to happiness for over- 55s? Buying a new pet and going for a day trip with lunch every month

Where to begin here? Was there a control group involved in the ( presumably extremely elaborate) study that produced this conclusion? Why doesn't it work if you're 54 years and 364 days old? And is there a comma missing in this claim? Because it currently reads like you should buy a new pet, as well as go for day trips, every month!

That can't lead to a happier life, surely? Either your house rapidly fills up with domestic animals, or you have to regularly euthanise the current pet before you get the new one. The occasional Wetherspoons mixed grill surely won't be enough to compensate for the trauma of either option.

There are so many “secrets” to happiness, and barely any of them say the same thing. It’s almost like the whole concept at a pub is meaningless.

Some, in fairness, do attempt a more scientific approach, but that's also limited. Happiness is produced by the brain, undeniably, but nothing the brain ever does is simple or straightforward, and invoking some vague aspect of neuroscience does not mean a recipe for happiness is automatically more credible.

Most such claims focus on the “happy chemicals”, which are invariably the neurotransmitters the brain uses when processing/ creating positive mood and pleasure, namely dopamine, endorphins, serotonin and oxytocin. Dopamine is most often linked to happiness, with many claims that you need to “increase your dopamine” levels in order to be happier.

This focus is understandable; dopamine is the key neurotransmitter used by the central reward pathway in the brain, the source of all the pleasure we experience. So, we increase dopamine, we increase activity in the reward pathway, we feel more pleasure, we're happier. Right?

Thing is, it’s easy to boost the dopamine levels in your brain. Simply start taking levodopa, the most common medication for treating Parkinson’s disease. Levodopa causes an increase in dopamine levels, to compensate for the loss of dopamine due to non- functioning substantia nigra. So, people with Parkinson’s are regularly having the dopamine levels of their brains increased.

There are many ways to describe someone dealing with the onset of Parkinson’s, but “in a constant state of bliss” isn’t one of them, despite all that extra dopamine.

The truth, insofar as the evidence suggests, is that the experience of happiness is just as complex, multi- faceted and individually variable as any other intangible property created by the ever- baffling human brain.