PHYSIOLOGY OF ADULTERY

The same old story. Sujeesh went out of town to attend a conference. When he returned, all hell broke loose. The bill from a store from where he bought a sari was discovered by his wife from his shirt pocket. When confronted he admitted to having a one- night stand. “I was seduced and could not resist. Most of us men do these things,” was his explanation.

Why do men have one- night stands? Believe it or not, this is a major male sexual fantasy. Men’s Health magazine survey indicates that the average male would prefer to have 18 sex partners in his lifetime!

Evolutionary psychologists are of the opinion that there may be a genetic basis. According to them, ‘ men have an evolved desire to fool around.’ In any long standing monogamous relationship, sexual passion dies a natural death due to sexual monotony. This sexual high, especially for the middle- aged, becomes an end in itself.

Anthropologist Helen Fischer in her book Anatomy of Love calls this physiology of adultery. According to her, people respond differently to novelty. Some avoid it. Some seek it out. She calls the latter ‘ sensation seekers’. Psychiatric research has found low levels of Monoamine Oxidase, an enzyme in the brain, in the sensation seekers.

The reason quoted by the avoiders range from ‘ I am married’ to ‘ It is morally wrong’ to ‘ I may contract a disease’.

On the whole, one- night stands are most likely to be injurious to any marriage because one of the founding pillars of the marriage — trust — has been broken. Whatever reconciliation is attempted can only be like a broken mirror.