Is marriage the death knell of romance
MARRIAGE IS A SACRED BOND BUT DOES IT KILL THE ROMANCE FACTOR?
“What they say is true, marriage is indeed the death- knell of romance!” says the man.
They’re youngish, he and she, and what is called ‘ highlyeducated upwardly mobile professionals’ that are increasingly a part of the present- day metro scene. They have come to visit a relative convalescing in a hospital, where I too chance to be.
To the amusement of the patient the conversation is veering rather a distance away from his wellbeing!
“I’ve seen it happen all the time!” he continues, as we move to the hospital cafeteria, as both seem interested in what I feel on the subject. I am of course not inclined to go with such a swe e p - ing gene r a l i t y covering every marriage, but I turn to the lady.
“This is the beginning of the 5th year we’ve been together” she looks at me for understanding. You’re broadminded, so I may tell you we’re partners in our existence. He says he loves me. I know I do. However let alone a destination wedding that my parent’s dream of, there’s no sign of a wedding as a destination! - For all our togetherness, we don’t even share the same living space. Am I not entitled to some c o m m i t - ment?”
He interjects “Leena, what’s not to like about the arrangement? I get the bit of privacy I value, you don’t have to be engaged in seeing to laundry and cooking! Moreover I don’t have to see you with a ghostly white cucumber pack and hair unromantically up in rollers” he laughs “you and I have enough space to focus on our work, as you too are ambitious regarding your prospects. When we have a spat I have a burrow to slink into hibernation as do you. Look at the many advantages, in your place I might be happy to be untrammelled with the burdens of keeping house and managing a career!”
“As usual you are psyching me to a point of view I may not agree with, but I go with it because, well, what can I do? I do love you so, and I do believe you when you say you love me!”
He takes advantage of this stance and interjects - “You’re not immediately interested in having a child. We plan little happy getaways of total t o g e t h e r n e s s. How is that little bit of registry document going to change things? - I care for you, I am faithful to you, and I wouldn’t look at another woman!! Infact Leena, this situation is what keeps our relationship so alive with a verve and excitement at seeing each other always with an edge of enthusiasm that I don’t want to lose with mundane matrimony.
We are now at the café and he’s off to collect our orders. Leena turns to me “See Nisha, it’s always this way. I’m not even insecure or possessive. Yes the best times are our little getaway weekends totally together. Holding hands or swimming together in a resort pool with no inhibitions of neighbours talking or domestics prying. - but Nisha there is an old world part of me that is programmed for marriage and the security of that legal bonding - and if there is dullness to be endured in the situation so be it’.
Is there a midway path? If Leena waits a little bit will he come around to her thought process? Is marriage even essential in an age where even women want freedom and trail blazers like Ekta Kapoor and Karan Johar are just going for the joy of kids without the baggage of marriage? We’ll continue our chat right here next time!
The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Mail her at nishajamvwal@gmail. com
As usual you are psyching me to a point of view I may not agree with, but I go with it because, well, what can I do? I do love you so, and I do believe you when you love me!”