FOR A BETTER BEDROOM EXPERIENCE

QI am a 28 years old man, got married two months back. Initially, we didn't have sex because of the pain she felt. But now, we have sex almost every day. But lately, I do not feel anything like orgasm after intercourse; even I don't feel proper tightness in her vagina. I feel it is very loose. I ejaculate due to movement not by feelings. What must be reason for this? Is it due to excess fluid she secretes?

It is difficult for me to come to a definitive conclusion without knowing all the facts. However since you are married only for two months and your wife has not yet had a vaginal delivery the chances of her vagina being lax is rare. Most likely she may be lubricating profusely and this may make the coital thrusting slippery without giving you a tight grip. You can try rear entry posture for better grip. Alternately she can take an antihistamine tablet which might reduce the vaginal secretions. Check with your doctor.

QMy wife and I have been married for two-and-a-half years but we still do not enjoy our sex life. We are also going through some rough times in life. My job is very demanding and as a result, I am not able to give the best of myself to my wife. Often, I am too tired to have sex and loose my erection. How we solve this problem and enjoy a healthy sex life?

You need to modify your lifestyle. Healthy sex life demands a healthy body and a healthy mind apart from a healthy partner and healthy atmosphere. The rough times in your life, a demanding job had sapped your energy levels (physically and emotionally). The guilt about “not giving your best to your wife” is an add on factor. You may consult a counsellor to learn stress management. Practice yoga and meditation or prayer to reduce your stress levels. Try and eat nourishing food on time. Try and have sex after a period of rest instead of trying it at night when you are tired. Either you can sleep for an hour or two after your return from office and then have sex when your body is recouped or get up a little early in the mornings to have sex. After a good night’s rest, your body will be fully recharged and energised for sex.

The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana @deccanmail.com