THE GYMNASTICS OF AVOIDANCE

The Goon Show" was very popular in England, especially with Prince Charles. Michael Bentine, Spike Milligan, Harry Secombe and Peter Sellers wrote bizarre comedy sketches and two-liners. For example:

"Good morning -- my name is Neddy Seagoon."

"What a memory you have!" To write their material required zany mental gymnastics. Some bridge deals need a more logical form of the same. You assume a bad lie of the opposing cards and have to find the best way to vault over it and land safely on the mat -- as in this deal.

How should South play in four spades after West leads the club king?

Over South's weak twobid, North might have bid three no-trump, but understandably went with the nine-card fit.

If East has the diamond ace, the contract will be safe. So declarer should assume that West holds that critical card. Clearly, South must fight to keep East off the lead.

Declarer should start by ducking the first trick. Maybe West will continue with a low club to his jack. Or he might switch to a diamond. But let's assume he plays a trump.

Now South does best to win in hand, lead the club jack and, when West produces the queen, duck again in the dummy.

Suppose West plays another trump. Declarer wins on the board and cashes the club ace, discarding a low heart from hand. He continues with three rounds of hearts, ruffing the last in hand. Have they broken 3-3? If

bridge

so, South has a discard for his low diamond. If not, he must hope, finally, that East has the diamond ace.

On play, falls. any other line of declarer trips and

Copyright United Feature Syndicate (Asia Features)