Braving the storm
Every relationship comes with its ups and downs, but navigating through them smartly is what makes it work
Every relationship, be it romantic partners, parent and child, or otherwise, goes through phases, but it’s only those that have the resilience to weather the storm can spring back and enjoy longevity.
Last time we spoke about marriages, we saw that they either ‘fit-in’ or unravel. That’s pretty much the case with any relationship, isn’t it? That unless our relationships can grow with our learnings and unlearning, they fall apart and fall on the wayside. Every equation has to comprise resilience along with the happy springtime of bonding and laughter. Each relationship comes with a learning curve, and retaining those learnings is the only way for it to survive.
Especially with good friends, it is better if one can train oneself to overlook faults and accept mistakes. To be critical and expect people to live up to your standards is unrealistic and brings loneliness. It is smarter to overlook the faults of friends as we so often accede and make excuses for our own foibles.
I've seen it in a mother and daughter too, where they looked as if searching for a weapon to kill while the domestic help scuttled behind kitchen doors. But humour apart, each relationship is unique. There are the ‘happily ever afters’ and there are the anecdotal Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton ones, where the path to love comes with booby traps and close calls.
I strongly believe that people outside of the situation might also consider trying to be conciliators without seeming officious or interfering. It’s often all that is needed — an understanding objective bystander who can help soothe ruffled feathers and create harmony. It can change the scenario from despair-ridden to dreamy. It is, however, crucial to remember that when tempers are hot and objectivity is poor, analysis and feedback can wait.
When all are heated up and tempers flare, objectivity is lost and we need to give the angst a break
A challenge to keep in mind is that people may gossip and spread libel, which may, in turn, make an already bad situation worse. Sensitive persons can hurt themselves and each other at the drop of a contrary word. When all are heated up and tempers flare, objectivity is lost and we need to give the angst and recriminations a break. In this case, speaking to a sensible wellwisher — and not someone who enjoys fanning the flames — will bring perspective.
I also find that taking time to process feelings and attempting a conversation with a cooler mind will help the situation. For your own inner peace, let time go by because time is a known healer for everything.
The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Mail her at nisjamvwal@gmail.com