What turns women on?
“Have you got it?” Madan asked wife Preethi expectantly. This was after a session of sex. Preethi laughed and said, “Can’t you tell?” This scene was a regular happening in their marriage. One year later Preethi retorted, to the same query, ‘What difference does it make?” Answers like these have been driving men around the bend for centuries.
To answer, Preethi, No. he can’t tell. And yes, it makes a big difference to a man.
Madan is trying his best to satisfy his wife in bed and Preethi’s answer will help her more than Madan. One of the common sexual problems experienced by women is the inability to experience orgasm. Even love is no panacea. A study conducted by University of Pittsburg found that nearly half the women who experienced Orgasmic Dysfunction had ‘happy marriages’ otherwise.
Interestingly, it’s women, not men, who have an organ (clitoris) with no other known purpose than to provide sexual pleasure. And it is women, not men, who are capable of multiple orgasms in the same session without having to pause for a post-orgasmic refractory period. Still the fact remains that for a large majority of women, orgasm seems to be like the elusive holy grail, fantasised all the time, but never really secured.
As it happens, most women don’t articulate and most men don’t care. And those who care, don’t know what exactly they can do to achieve the gratification obtained through enabling their partners attain the pinnacle of sexual satisfaction.
A ‘much experienced’ male client of mine, for instance, wanted further enlightenment. “Doctor, to make my girlfriends climax I had to resort to many techniques: oral sex, vaginal penetration, clitoral stimulation, digital masturbation etc. No two women had it with the same technique. I am running out of ideas.” Well, each woman’s sexual ecstasy is unique. This uniqueness is akin to fingerprints. Learn about your woman’s ‘Orgasmic Fingerprinting’ to make her come.
For most men anything works. Let a woman play with his joy stick, and he is happy. On the other hand different women need to be stroked in different places in the body to be aroused. Friends, then give up on the idea of becoming an expert on women. Instead become an expert only on your woman. And women, better learn to ask and obtain gratification. It’s your right after all!
(The writer is a sexologist. You can mail
him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com )