ED: A warning alarm for couples
Erectile dysfunction could be a proponent of stress and anxiety but it has the potential to wreck relationships. Experts feel one doesn’t have to get distressed about it, all they need to do is seek medical help
The 2017 Aayushmann Khurrana and Bhumi Pednekar-starrer film
Subh Mangal Saavdhan talks about an issue that many married couples face — erectile dysfunction (ED) — and how it can affect the relationship between spouses. Though the film may have been based on fiction, the matter of ED is certainly not.
ED is an issue that many married couples face, in which the man is unable to obtain or maintain an erection of sufficient firmness to permit coitus with his partner. Mild transient ED could affect men between the ages 32 and 35 years, and become severe after they cross 35 years. However, ED in old age can be due to other illnesses like diabetes.
ED often leads to relationship and health problems especially because women often bear the brunt of their male partner’s inability to perform in bed. While ED can be treated easily, men often shy away from addressing this condition, for the conversation around ED is still a taboo, thus causing their sexual partners to feel neglected and rejected. This, in turn causes, issues in the relationship.
However, according to a recent survey conducted by Pfizer Upjohn in India, 56% of men would like to discuss ED with their partners to fix their relationship, and 28% of women might consider separation if their partner does not take any corrective measure for ED. The survey states that while 53% of men were unaware of ED, 78% of women were aware of it.
WOMEN TO THE AID
Prof Dr Deepak K Jumani, senior sexual health physician and counsellor, believes women are committed and do everything in their capacity to support and encourage their partners. “More than 90% of the women encourage their partners or persuade them to go for a treatment or visit counselling sessions,” he reveals. “Women today are more mature, understanding and have great tolerance. Most women today, marry out of choice and are comfortable with their partners getting examined because they want to know how to resolve this issue.”
AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP
Alpes Panchal, consultant psychiatrist and the founder of The Freemind Initiative, suggests
While ED can be treated easily, men often shy away from addressing this condition, for the conversation around ED is still a taboo thus causing their sexual partners to feel neglected and rejected.
that having a good honest sound relationship with the sexual partner is the best self-cure for ED. “I have come across cases where the partner has come with the patient for complaint of ED (heterosexual and homosexual). Partners being part of the counselling process actually helps more in recovery. Eventually good rapport with the partner is the best way to get rid of any sexual problems,” he validates.
Dr Deepak Jumani also agrees that a woman’s presence helps when the male goes for a counselling session. “I have seen women getting frustrated sometimes because they want to find the root cause of the problem that is affecting their relationship with their partners. Therefore, transparency between couples is important to help cure the root cause of the problem. So also, it becomes much easier when the woman is involved in the process,” the doctor shares.
PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSOCIATIONS
Most of the cases of E D among young men are psychological in nature, presenting symptoms of depression and anxiety in men. Adding to the mayhem is the on-going pandemic, which has instilled fear and uncertainty in various aspects of life. The realisation that this is going to be the new normal has triggered large-scale anxiety and stress among couples, especially in men, sometimes leading to an ED.
“In stressful situations such as threats, prolonged seclusion and uncertainty about the future, depression and anxiety can crop up very easily and ED can be a predominant complaint,” says Dr Alpes Panchal. Similarly, noted sexologist Dr D. Narayana Reddy points out that erection is the outcome of a chain of psychological and physiological events. “Emotions play a vital role in a man’s performance. A man gets aroused when he becomes comfortable with himself and his partner and can open up to pleasure, elaborates Dr Reddy. “Erection is not a voluntary occurrence. Being amenable to touch sets the stage for eroticism, awakening and erection. The more he worries about getting and sustaining an erection the less likely are his chances of getting aroused and if certain links in the chain of events go missing for some reasons, then erection is likely to be blocked.”
As we conclude, the sexologist points out that a good management plan, which is a combination of medication and sex therapy, can help with curing ED. “It should be conceptualised and treated as a couple-centric issue. But in any case, there is definitely no need to get distressed about ED,” he adds.
Most of the cases of ED among young men are psychological in nature, presenting symptoms of depression and anxiety in men and uncertainty in various aspects of life.