Call out the groomer
American actress Evan Rachel Wood has been vocal about being in a relationship with an abuser. Now, at the start of February this year, she got specific — identifying him by name and calling him out for “grooming” her to not realise the emotional and sexual abuse that characterised their relationship. While Wood stated in her post that she was ‘here to expose this dangerous man and call out the many industries that have enabled him, before he ruins any more lives’, Wood’s post raised a lot of questions about “grooming” or “sexual grooming”.
What does this mean, and why do people fall victim to someone who primes them for a sexually and/or emotionally abusive relationship? By definition, grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with someone so they can manipulate, exploit and/or abuse them.
According to sexologist Dr D Narayana Reddy, sexual grooming is a preparatory process in which a perpetrator gradually gains a person’s trust with the intent to be sexually abusive. “The victim is usually a child, teen or vulnerable adult. Though the term applies to children, adults can also groom other adults — even at work,” adds the doctor.
HEART-BREAKING ANECDOTES
We spoke to a survivor, Megha Dinesh, cofounder of Meghavi Wellness Spa, who was sexually abused from the age of four or five years. She even remembers that one of her first ‘groomers’ was an older cousin who was then nineteen or twenty years old. “I have vague memories of how he manipulated me to be his subject by showing me some videos, saying it was something all ‘grown-ups’ did to become good, beautiful people. He’d also add that it had, however, to be their ‘secret’. And, yes, the innocence kicked in and the then lucrative gifts of chocolates, ice creams and preferential perks were the great add-ons!” recollects Megha. “As my primary exposure to sex was this, it just seemed natural and okay and my joint-family system further propelled more ‘groomers’ that included other cousins, neighbours and uncles!”
TURN TO PAGE 10 cofounder of
Meghavi Wellness
Spa, who was sexually abused from the age of four or five years. She even remembers that one of her first ‘groomers’ was an older cousin who was then nineteen or twenty years old. “I have vague memories of how he manipulated me to be his subject by showing me some videos, saying it was something all ‘grown-ups’ did to become good, beautiful people. He’d also add that it had, however, to be their ‘secret’,” she says.
Actress post raised questions about ‘grooming’ and why its high time to name and shame them