Call out the groomer
“And while all this was happening, I was still blank, submissive and did not know if anything was wrong or not appropriate. I also didn’t receive any sensitisation from the school or by any elders in the family.
Sex was never a topic spoken or discussed at all at my home in all the growing years,” shares Megha.
Sadly, that’s a phenomenon that still prevails in many households. Sharing more insights into her heart-wrenching story, Megha adds that her abuse went on for years, and the bubble burst only when she got pregnant and had to be aborted at the age of thirteen!
“When my parents and custodians faced it, they did not know any better than to hush me, make me feel guilty and like the sinner, and a child they wished they never had! So instead of me receiving medical, emotional counselling, I was ostracised in the family with almost a daily dose of physical abuse. Now, instead of me being taught to stand up, confront the groomer and to do damage control, what I learned and experienced was to feel ashamed of myself, cover up my hurt and pain and behave normal, and never to talk about this to anyone. Moreover, I was made to believe that I am lustful, and it was entirely my fault — like I am a sinner and not really worthy of living,” she says recounting the traumas.
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WHAT KEEPS US FROM TALKING ABOUT SEXUAL ABUSE?
Megha believes there are many reasons, especially as it affects our own lives or the lives of those we care about. “In most societies, despite the times we live in, sex is still not a topic that is discussed or spoken comfortably. Added to it, child sexual abuse is a taboo topic, making it difficult for most people to talk about it openly,” she reasons.
Despite mandatory sex education in their curricula, most schools in India still end up brushing away topics relevant to sex education. Even if by magic they do include the subject, a lack of creativity in the pedagogy hardly ever touches upon the emotional intimacy related to sex.
It took Megha years of selfwork, healing, spiritual work and amendments to reach out to her inner child, to love her, nurture her and not feel guilty, ashamed and condoned, she tells us. “My healing also guided me to share my experiences to help heal others and become aware. I have also volunteered myself to go to schools and share my Life
It took Megha years of selfwork, healing, spiritual work and amendments to reach out to her inner child, to love her, nurture her and not feel guilty, ashamed and condoned, she tells us. “My healing also guided me to share my experiences to help heal others and become aware. I have also volunteered myself to go to schools and share my Life story to help children know the difference, come forward and talk, feel safe and most importantly even unfortunately if they were or are exploited it is not their fault,” says Megha
story to help children know the difference, come forward and talk, feel safe and most importantly even unfortunately if they were or are exploited it is not their fault,” adds Megha.
However, despite exposing her vulnerability, strength and candour Megha has only received feedback that schools find it difficult and have got backlash from parents over exposing their children to this topic.