‘You have to make compromises’

Actor Neena Gupta’s candid, practical take on relationship issues

Q Do you agree that in a personal relationship with your partner we need to give space to keep it going?

I think this concept of giving space to a partner in a relationship is all bullshit. If you need space, then why are you living together? You have to make some compromises all the time. If you are constantly complaining that your husband has no time to spend with you, why not try and get busy yourself? Start cooking, painting or writing — whatever it is you are good at, so that it keeps you not only occupied but also happy. Your happiness needs to be found within yourself.

You need to be happy in the moment. Time that passes by may never come again. Make the best of that moment; don’t sit with a grumpy and angry face, losing that moment.

Q What advice do you have for daughters about maintaining relationships?

The truth is whatever applies to me may not be so for someone else. No one can give any learning about relationships because we are all still learning. And there is no rule that if you handle a problem in a particular manner, things will get okay. But yes, in any relationship it’s important to talk out your problems. Be it a relationship between a mother and child, a brother and sister etc. Most fights continue simply because we don’t talk it out and just keep telling ourselves that the other person does not understand me.

This concept of giving space to a partner in a relationship is all bullshit. If you need space, then why are you living together?