Problems Galore Working It Out
Money matters
I moved in with my current roommate two months ago. Initially we worked well by dividing the chores, but as time elapsed, she started slacking and would put up the tasks onto me with some excuse or the other. I didn’t realise this earlier, but she has been not paying for things which both of us need. She has been avoiding the conversation revolving around the money aspect as well as she owes me few thousand rupees. I am not sure how to work it out with her without creating a rift.
Ans: The time lapse isn’t too much to lay down the ground rules of how you wish to live with your roommate. Have a conversation with her assertively and set a deadline as well for her to repay the money she owes you. Sit down together to divide the household chores as well so that you don’t feel burdened each time. There will be some friction as you are calling out on her behaviour, but only because you wish things to resolve amicably you can't let your guard down and be taken for granted.
Friends with benefits I am a 7th grader and a part of the popular group of children. I have been friends with these people only since a few months. As someone who was not their friend, I always wanted to be part of this group to experience what it was like to be able to be popular; but now that I am, I realise it doesn’t feel very nice to be mean and hurt someone. They are mean to the other children and a menace in class. Now my old friends do not talk to me at all as they think I have become like these mean friends. I don’t want to be friends with mean people, but now they are my only friends. I do not know how to leave this group and win my old friends back or get myself to be not mean.
Ans: The realisation you have about not being mean is the first step towards redeeming your past actions. The people whom you have hurt in past will need something concrete to believe into. Your initial actions might not be noticed that well but this shouldn't discourage you from taking the steps to be who you wish to be.
Long distance relationship I started dating my current boyfriend last year. This relationship started by me cheating on my ex. I have been noticing few changes in our relationship as he keeps mentioning about having personal space. I think I am losing him in the whole long distance relationship. This has happened previously as well and I am scared that if things don’t work out well with my boyfriend, I might take impulsive decisions again.
Ans: There is strong tendency in your personality traits to avert situations that become too difficult to manage. the previous failure in the relationship could be attributed to this trait as well. Current relationship might have issues but doesn't necessarily have to go down the same path. You can discuss the issues with your boyfriend and simultaneously work on your expectations from a relationship as well. This could help work better in the times of difficulties that arise in a relationship.
Dealing with parents’ separation I am a 16-year-old girl, I have always had a great family environment and very loving parents. I recently overheard my parents talk about getting separated/ divorced. I cannot imagine why they would want to do that, but I feel shattered, as I have always looked up to them as a being the ideal couple. I am disappointed and heartbroken that they have not only decided to do this but have not told me about it.
Ans: The disappointment maybe stemming from the fact that your idea of a perfect couple is somewhere shattered. Your parents are individuals who are also allowed to make errors. The image that you have regarding your parents has crumbled which is hurting and with the added fact that they hid this from you. Since you found it without them telling you, it could be a possibility that they were fearing your reaction. Now since you know this, talk to them and understand this whole news from their end so as to get an overall picture. Clash of opinions
My colleague and I always have a difference in opinion. Both our ideas are effective, but very different. This difference in thought leads to a lot of discussions that invariably leads to arguments. Due to this our relationship at work is not very healthy. There is a lot of egoistic tension between us all the time. This makes the workplace environment very competitive and not in a healthy way. I find it very difficult to communicate with my colleague in a normal professional manner when either of our plans gets selected. It is tough to function well and positively when there is so much ego, miscommunication and personal dislike at the workplace.
Ans:The problems you just mentioned are somewhere a hindrance to personal as well as professional well-being. Thus, the ego and personal dislike need to be kept aside while working with people so as to get the best result. the issues between the two of you need to resolved by having a communication which isn’t charged by arguments or whose better than whom. It should be towards making room for each other and the opinions.
Standing by truth I am 24 years old. I work as an assistant director. We recently found out that a few artists on set have been doing drugs. However, nobody knows who the artists are except me. I saw a bunch of people with drugs a few days back, however, when I confronted them they said that if I reveal their names to anyone, they will get me fired. I have got this job with many difficulties and have gone against my parents’ wishes. I cannot get fired. But I also want my boss to know the truth. How do I tell my boss the truth anonymously?
Ans:You need to back your story with some evidence without which your boss may not believe you or may not be in a position to take an action against the artists doing drugs. this will also prevent from the job loss threat. Talk to someone whom you trust and involve them to brainstorm ideas to expose those people. And exposing them for right reasons is essential, thus being fearful about your job is natural. but don’t let this fear become a cause of stress for you.
Lack of appreciation I am a 46-year-old corporate lawyer working at a very big firm. I have been facing issues with my boss and my firm recently. I have been working here since a decade now and not once I have been appreciated for my work. I am starting to feel frustrated and neglected. I have given this company my everything and have worked more hours than any other employee and I also work overtime every week. I have had issues with my family too because I am not able to give them time because of so much workload. I just want to be appreciated for the work I do. How do I show my boss my worth in this company?
Ans:Firstly, retrospect and think about the advancement that has taken place in past 10 years for you at the workplace. If there is any sign of advancement, it could possibly be the way company might have shown its appreciation. If you still feel under-appreciated, list down ways in which your company or boss could make it happen. this will give them enough to think about and consider it seriously. Also strike a healthy balance between your work and life so as to not feel stressed at two different fronts.
Drawing a line I am a 32-year-old working woman. My working hours are from 9 am to 6 pm, but my boss always makes me work overtime. Recently, I have noticed that he does that to only me and usually it’s only the two of us till late. He tries to get very close to me and always finds an excuse to touch me. It is getting uncomfortable for me. The only authority I can speak to is my boss’ boss who is also my boss’ father-in-law. My boss is a decent person, but lately he has started being over-friendly and I don’ know if it is in my head.What do I do?
Ans:The discomfort you experience needs to be conveyed in a clear manner to your boss. if you are finding that staying back alone is an issue, request a partner or work from home option so that you spend as less as time possible with him alone. Draw the lines and request him to maintain it as things will be easier for both.