A ride on Cloud 9
The overall experience of reading, as the book cover suggests, “A vivid account of life 33,000 feet above the ground”, takes off from the pale green cover with an embossed parked airliner and suitcases perched one atop the other suggesting a life of living out of one’s suitcase. The ‘honest and unabashed account of the travels of an international flight attendant’ begins from the very first few lines in the book which say, “Welcome on board, ladies and gentlemen. Sit back, relax and enjoy your flight with us.”
The glamorous job which allows them (flight attendants) to jet across time zones and visit beautiful places also allows them to interact with a wide range of personality types ranging from funny, stupid, charming, hot, cool and the not-so-cool who persevere in the belief that they are cool. For example, a passenger’s request for ‘whisky with snow’ (which is supposed to mean ‘ice’).
The book brings to the fore the fact that flying is no longer about luxury and courtesy and it has become a chore now. Also while travel now in coach has undergone a transformation in terms of lesser seat space and food portions, it rightly points out that manners and good behaviour of passengers too, at times, are on the wane. Here we could attribute some of this to Bollywood films with a ‘no sorry, no thank you’ ground rule – so much for good manners.
The book sums it all up when it says that in a world full of unreasonably rude people, all it takes is a warm smile, common courtesy and incidents of kindness, like the ones in the following sentences, which can restore one’s faith in humanity. A business class seat-to-bed fails to convert on a long flight but the frequent flier and a gold card holder in the flight’s loyalty programme, who is entitled to his bed, chooses not to complain, but swaps his seat with a seat occupied by a staff passenger. Kindness goes a long way – especially in the memory of the people witnessing the act – in this case also in terms of lots of free miles.
A business class person, in another incident, pays for a first-class seat so that an airline employee can go home since his father is dying. A good deed done with no expectation whatsoever, and for a stranger. So strangers, at times, can do more good for other strangers than family or friends. Yes, truth is ‘stranger’ than fiction.
This book, like a Hindi masala film, has all the elements such as emotion, drama, comedy, etc, in just the right combination to make it unputdownable. The sudden passing away of a stranger; a child molestation; a Hare Rama devotee who believes in living a life of Mukti, but does not refrain from punching a fellow passenger; a naked man running down the aisle due to a sleeping pill (to avoid jet lag) overdose; a beautiful staffer who considers it a matter of ‘courage and craft’ to steal glassware from the airline and is later dismissed after being caught during a handbag search; an unaccompanied minor (UMNR) who ends up drinking red wine due to an attendant’s mistake of not informing the crew members; a man accused of some wrongdoing making a final pitiable call to his family saying he loves them before being arrested and being dragged away by the cops, etc.
The book candidly admits to flawed new service concepts and ideas that look fabulous on paper but may not pan out the way it was meant to and how all hell breaks loose for the airline if everything does not flow in harmony such as a scheme where-in TransAtlantic passengers change into sleepwear before the flight and on reaching their destination they change in to their work clothes later... Yes, you’re a smart cookie and guessed right. What if your regular clothes don’t travel with you? Similarly a breakfast downsizing to avoid waste (also a cost-cutting measure) doesn’t go down well with the folks who shell out top dollars.
He also admits to his quirk of having played spectator to in-flight erotica 35,000 feet up in the air when another flight attendant had a fling with a handsome passenger. Pushed to name a grouse about the book, I’d say a spell check in some chapters could have helped cut down the errors. But in summation, the author’s experience of having worked as a flight attendant for over a decade shines through and gives the book a 360-degree insight into the airline business from the perspective of a crew member. The chapters are akin to a roller-coaster ride – an easy, extremely interesting, and heartwarming read.