The Golden Rule
Life is a study of attention. If you pay attention to small things in life, the big things will take care of themselves. There are many reasons why there is friction conformation and incompatibility with people. It is a question of correct relationship.
The areas of disagreement can be boiled down to six problems. The first one is lack of commitment. The finest example is marriage. When one party is not willing to commit totally to the relationship, it triggers rejection, unworthiness and inadequacy in the other. It makes one partner feel that he or she is not good enough. The way to overcome a lack of commitment is to commit yourself to the relationship.
The second major problem in relationship is trying to change the other person or expecting the other person to change. This is another subtle form of rejection. It is another way of saying, “You are not good enough for me the way you are.” The truth is that people do not change very much. Just to accept him or her unconditionally and allow that person to change voluntarily.
The third problem in smooth relationship is jealousy. It arises out of low selfesteem and personal inadequacy. The antidote to such jealousy is to raise one’s own self-esteem and say over and over again, “I like myself, I like myself.” When you respect yourself you respect others too.
The fourth factor in relationship is ‘Self-pity’. The antidote to self-pity is to get busy with your goals so that you don’t have the time to feel sorry for yourself. Self-pity is a form of weakness that stops you from becoming a completely fulfilled human being.
The fifth factor in souring relationship is ‘negative expectations’. This feeling comes when you constantly expect the other person to do something to disappoint you. This expectation very often gets fulfilled. The rule should be to expect the best from the other person. The best way is to see good things in an otherwise bad person.
And the sixth problem in relationships is ‘incompatibility’. Again in marriages, after the initial euphoria, each one develops new interests, new tastes and new opinions due to external associations and the environment. The solution to this problem is flexibility or ‘live and let live’ or co-existence.