‘I want to fight for gossip’

The irrepressible Cyrus Broacha tells NICHOLA PAIS that gossip — like sex — has unjustly been given a bad name

Iwas just reading Sapiens A Brief History of Humankind — as in I read three pages and skip four — but this whole cognitive functioning of society, and how society gets closer, makes a lot of sense. I’m actually a big proponent of gossip. I don’t see it as a negative from any angle. Society comes closer because of gossip. It brings people together and you form bands on commonality, rivalry and everything else. Gossip is a bit like sex — it’s got a bad name when it’s not necessarily a bad thing at all!

Hypocrisy galore

There is a lot of hypocrisy. You see the Goody Two Shoes around us who say ‘I will not gossip’. Or they have the sacred cow concept where they will not gossip about their family, people, religion or caste. That’s something that really gets to me because gossip is not really malicious. It doesn’t mean you hate somebody because you gossip about them. Let’s say we are three people in an office and person 4 is wearing an atrocious T-shirt, and everything can be seen and the weight is just wrong for that kind of tight shirt. What’s wrong in us commenting about it and having a little laugh among ourselves? It’s not malicious; it’s just an observation. We don’t dislike the person necessarily. If you dislike the person and there is a personal issue involved and there’s bitterness, it’s different. Gossip of the right type and in the right doses is healthy; what the hell would we do if we didn’t have gossip?

Fun focus

Before the young people came along with their Facebook — okay that’s us, old people — but all the new forms of social media, we had gossip. We always had gossip. And in a sense you are just using another medium to gossip. So, I’m a big fan. What would we do without it? You won’t have a job, I won’t have a job! Forget jobs, we won’t have anything to do with ourselves. I think I spend 80 percent of my time gossiping. Sitting in the studio, what do I do? We are always targetting someone, talking about something, putting out our opinions. Even if you are attending a meeting, the actual meeting focus is x amount; and there’s plenty around it. Gossip is an exchange of thoughts, ideas. There will be bad moments, but if you don’t have that, how do you have the good moments?

Localised lore

I’m more of a localised gossip. I don’t enjoy celebrity gossip, say about Shah Rukh’s really strange haircut. It doesn’t interest me so much. But localised gossip about someone we all know — like say, this person at the gym has had a sex change, that’s far more interesting. Have you ever noticed how it’s very easy to gather people around and discuss how somebody is not looking good? That’s something that works really well. ‘He’s just not looking good, there’s something wrong with him’...

No malice

There’s obviously a point when it can become malicious; it is a weapon of sorts but as long as it’s healthy why are we denying it? The holier than thou ones also do it, the ones who tell you, ‘Hey don’t gossip. Why are you bitching? You’re such a bitch’. I’ve been called Aunty and bitch the most, by the way. And I love it! I don’t stop myself, I just have to find one partner and go for it! It could be Kunal, when he’s around though he is not the best gossip as he doesn’t pay attention. But there are lots of others. You know, you find that right person who has got that same slight pettiness about them.

Champions needed

I think we should take gossip as a sport and not take it so seriously. My worry is that the internet has allowed people to make their gossip sort of gospel. When you see it in black and white or you read it, it gets validated more than it should. Passing gossip in office is just hearsay and Chinese Whispers and ends there. I see no reason to go to war because your egos are hurt. What are we going to war for everyday? Let’s have a strike, let’s put a price on the guy’s head and kill him for a hug... Really??

When you meet a new person at work, at a bar, you actually bond over gossip only. It immediately sends our energy levels higher. I really want to fight for gossip. I believe it has been given a dirty name and it needs some champions to stand up for it.