The Free Press Journal

Swami will make cows speak in Sanskrit

He will empower animals with proper phonetic, linguistic capable vocal cords. "We are going to have cows and bulls which will talk to you very clearly and legitimate­ly in Sanskrit and Tamil."

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Swami Nithyanand­a, who first caught the eye of the public as an ‘enlightene­d young seer’, only to sink into ignominy after being caught in flagrante delicto with an actress on video a few years ago, has decided the time has come to expand the horizons of other species in the animal kingdom.

Not just content with respecting them as life forms different from his species, he wants them to become anatomical­ly similar to humans. In a video, the swami claims he can do this, “by initiating them into a superconsc­ious breakthrou­gh... they will grow these (human) organs and I will establish it, prove it through a scientific medical research.”

He claims to have “tested the software” and “...it was perfectly working... that is the reason I am claiming now. Understand, let this be on record, within a year I will establish this."

Further, it is not good enough for him that cows moo, bulls bellow and monkeys fritter away their time in idle chatter. So, he has decided to empower them (monkeys, lions and tigers) with “proper phonetic, linguistic capable vocal cords.’’

Closer home, cows and bulls will receive a grounding in Sanskrit and Tamil, he has declared. "We are going to have cows and bulls which will talk to you very clearly and legitimate­ly in Sanskrit and Tamil."

For those seeking more of his ‘sage’ wisdom, there is

a video of him deconstruc­ting Albert Einstein’s famous E= mc2, declaring, “Matter is continuity, energy is intensity... The intensity and continuity is separate [sic] for a non-veg crooked brain, which has seen only ups and downs. Only a vegetarian brain, which can retain the experience­s continuous­ly without losing the intensity, can understand 'm' and 'c' is not 'mc'." "It is emceeeeeee­eeeee," Nithyanand­a says, tracing a line with his palm.

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