Co-exist with your failures
We, as humans and a part of this large cosmos, have evolved over centuries and have adjusted to everything around us. In other words, we have trained ourselves to synchronise with a lot of things and people around us. But it’s about time one must learn to
Everyone is talking about religious, fundamental and other acceptances amidst our society. They say we should be tolerant with our fellow beings from all faiths and beliefs. Rightly so, and it makes sense because we live in a society, and till we accept all the differences amongst our fellow beings, our own survival will be in question. We shall be uprooted and thrown out, for we are part of this world, which, by nature, is diverse in its content. The one who adapts to the diversity of things, people and situations around him/her sustains.
Forget larger things in life, but history stands witness that any life form which did not accept the diversity of the cosmos or could not learn to co-exist with the changing nature and its forms were wiped out.
Diversity is within too
The fact to contemplate is that when we can be tolerant towards the differences outside of us, why we can’t accept the differences within our own self for a peaceful and blissful life?
It is about time we accept the two sides of the same coin and accept all the dualities of our mind and take it into our stride to evolve as a better person at peace with ourselves. It is when we refuse to co-exist with the dualities of our own mind and our own personality does the unrest and stress generate, making us uncomfortable. The moment we refuse to co-exist with ourselves as a whole, we make our life miserable. We see problems and displeasure with perpetually everything around us.
Let me elaborate. To every good there is bad, to every joy there is sorrow. But we as humans, who are perpetual pleasure seekers, opt only for the good part. We detest the bad and refuse to co-exist with it. But refusing to co-exist with the bad does not make it disappear, does it? It will still exist, because it is inseparable with the good. It is only because of the bad that the good exists or is acknowledged. Acceptance of its existence but bypassing it smartly will help you find your share of peace and will help you co-exist with the so-called ‘bad’ in your life.
Co-exist with your sorrows
That no one likes to be sorrowful would be an understatement, right? No one even wants a hint of sorrow in their lives, which somehow still manages to sneak in. We keep ducking and avoiding it, refusing to make it a part of our life. We keep sulking and asking ourselves the reason to deserve the sorrow in our lives. But while trying everything to get rid of the said sorrow in our lives, we do not realize that it was part of the deal called happiness or joy granted to us. No one deserves sorrow but no one can avoid it too. Joy and sorrow co-exist with each other. It is because of one that the other exists. The moment we accept sorrow as a flip side of so many other joys in our life, it will stop appearing as sorrow at all.
You will be tolerant towards your sorrows and will slowly accept them as a part of your life and your existence. You would then learn to co-exist with your sorrows. We have this habit of overrating our selves. We are in some sort of awe of ourselves. So the moment we trip, falter or fall, we blame ourselves, are shamed and feel disgusted with ourselves. We do not wait for anyone to call us a failure, but we do it ourselves. While we welcome success with open arms, we shut the door for failures; once again, not realizing that it is because of repeated failures that success has its said worth. It is only because of failures that one can ultimately get motivated to outdo himself. Till we accept our failures with grace and learn to co-exist with them along with our success, our achievements will be like a half-baked pie which looks tempting to see but is uncooked from within. Failures are our lessons to perform better next time. They teach you patience, perseverance and determination. It makes you a go-getter while keeping you wellgrounded. Failures are a very natural way to keep your ego and pride in check. Had it been just success, Alexander would never have been able to conquer the world. It is only failure that makes our success authentic, well deserving and sustaining. It is a healthy competition with ourselves to keep the fire burning within. So if you really are looking for success in your life, dig deep and find out all your failures. They are actually your trophies for the success you badly want.
When you learn to co-exist with your failures, life will become so much fun, full of surprises at every turn. It will be like a never-ending game where you win sometimes and lose sometimes.
Take lessons from nature
Nature is designed in such a way that it is always interacting with you. It is constantly giving you tips on life and the right way of living it up. To every night there is a day, to every winter there is summer. Everything in nature is well-coordinated and works in perfect symphony. Every life form, every season, every element of nature is woven into each other’s existence. Everything works with perfection because everything is at peace with its counterpart. Nature adapts and quickly learns to coexist with whatever poses a challenge to its survival and sustenance.
So we, being a part of this nature, should adapt to the challenges within. It is about time we learn to co-exist with all our fears, sorrows, failures, distress, anguish, struggles alongside our fearlessness, joy, success, happiness, tranquil and retreats. Do not hesitate to take the entire deal, the whole package of all the dualities which co-exist by nature. If you shun what you detest out of the two in the deal, the other one, which you actually seek, will also evade you. Learn to co-exist with things outside of you as well as within you.
It’s only after you accept yourself that you are freed from the burden of needing others to accept you. not a cleanliness freak, but I don’t like to see dirt either. So whenever I get time, I utilise it to dust off some objects in the house that otherwise seem to be deprived of my attention. Last Wednesday, it was the turn of my bookshelf to get some pampering and to be neatly arranged.
While I was at it, some dried rose petals fell off from one of the books. Opening that very page from where it was kept for all these years, I could see some more dry petals along with three dry leaves and a stem. It was the rose given to each one of us during our send-off from Higher Secondary (as if it was an indication that your rosy path has come to an end and thorny path is about to begin). So many memories attached to that particular day came gushing to my mind as if someone had opened the gates of the past.
I thought to myself, whichever book I shall dust, I would definitely have something or the other kept as a bookmark. And whatever it may be, it will surely have some of my past attached to it. I was so very right, every book had something in it to offer me. One of the books had a crochet Cross bookmark, which had given me company while reading several books just in a manner in which the maker of that Cross had given me company to buy books.
A magnetic one had its own style making its presence felt, the bookmark was holding four pages at one go in its grip and was prominently visible as soon as I took the book in my hand. I had purchased it myself during one summer afternoon while strolling through the Fort area (Mumbai) — place which is usually meant to be a window shoppers delight. Many in my office had then liked the colourful look of it more than its magnetic power to hold on to pages helping me to hold on to my memory.
Just when I was nearing to finish my bookshelf cleaning spree, one of the books had stored in its heart one of the most memorable pieces of my past. It was a black and white photograph of my maternal grandmother with me on her lap and reading a story book. She read so many of them to me when I was a kid. Some of them were read over and over again, but every time she read it she made it sound new. My love for books was certainly her find.
After I was done, looking at cleaner and neater bookshelf I thought to myself: Once in a while we should turn the pages all over again, who knows we may just find a new start from where we stopped last. After all book marks are there to help us reconnect our past with present.