Greens win

All those who shouted themselves hoarse and slammed the determined Swedish teen, Greta Thunberg, can now go green with envy. She gets to have the last laugh and I am hoping it’s a thunderous roar. She was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize this year.

A kid has taken on the world, asking adults to take full responsibility for their ill-conceived acts that have caused environmental damage. And living in such tumultous times, guess what we citizens get? The hacking of thousands of trees in one night. As if this heartburn was not enough, students, women and other activists were termed antinationals and anti-development.

Haww, this my way or the highway (wait, shouldn't that be my way goes the highway) may leave people with burnt fingers and toes. But, but..then Bhidebai and all bullies accuse peepulz of obstructing the metro project. Aho bai, whether we want or not, it's here to stay. I definitely want to see Bhidebai on it, swinging in the Aircon coach, traveling to the airport. Bhetuya, bai. Arre, then what will happen to all the babu perks they enjoy? And we are blamed for sticking to our trees.

In all this, one thing is for sure, the court was all about ullu-banaoing. What fatafat they gave to the authorities, aai shappat got our hopes right up the coconut tree, hai na. Then suddenly, dhaad, such a tight slap the High Court gave us Mumbaikars, we are still smarting. Told us, go take a hike, and no shade of trees for you while you do. All greens are anti-development. Sheh, what about-turn. We can just hope all of them are not left longing for the shade of a good tree in their old age and are able to sleep unassisted by sleep aids.

And all this ritual tradition is only littering my streets. All superstitious bhakts throw their nimboo-mirchis every Saturday on the streets of Mumbai. Just imagine, a five-rupee contraption, held together by a pin saves peepulz lives and their many lakh rupees-worth cars. Just to explain the mathematics, first. Logic has anyway been thrown under the wheels. Then self-proclaimed sadhvis supported by national journalists, say India is the land of rituals..what do they say, never wear your religion on your chest? Well public display of rituals and personal beliefs are all being merged conveniently.

Then our defence mantri goes and does puja and all, puts things on the first Rafale and places two nimboos at the wheels of this huge fighter jet. Many kakus told me a few errors he made in his puja. "Aga, Swastik tari neat kadhayacha hota. Ani hey kay, paandhre kapde kai ghaatle? Pitambar nesayacha hota! (He could have drawn that Swastik properly. And haww, how he wore white clothes, he should have worn puja dhoti)." What raksha they do of us, another said. My sides are paining and paining.

Funny country no, we are, not that we should not protest tree-cutting. But people rally against cutting of trees and cows, but care lesser for lynching of humans. We will soon have gaurakshaks for security, such is the state of things currently.